president
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Trump Hires Donor With No Experience to Run the U.S. Postal Service. What Could Go Wrong?
Since taking office, Trump has declared war on two enemies: Obama and America. For years, the president has waged an all-out offensive attack on the former president, who doesn’t give a fuck about him. Obama is living proof that ignoring haters burns them way worse than engaging them. Obama has literally been living his best…
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Trump Walks Out to ‘Live and Let Die,’ Says He’s Willing to Lose Some Lives to Save the Economy
Because the president couldn’t stay his orange ass in the White House any longer, he left Tuesday to visit a factory in Phoenix, Ariz., that makes N95 masks, and for some reason—maybe foreshadowing; definitely foreshadowing—Guns ‘N Roses’ “Live and Let Die” blared through the speakers. When I say it was bizarre, that’s an understatement. It…
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Trump Claims He’s Been Treated Worse Than President Who Was Assassinated
Trump brings out the “ass” in “assassinated.” Sitting outside the Lincoln Memorial—which, for those who’ve never seen it, is a big-ass statue of Lincoln sitting in a chair looking out with a facial expression that says, “You better not lie on my good name”—Trump claimed that he’s been treated worse than the president who was…
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Former Republican Justin Amash Is Considering Whether He Wants to Ruin Everything
There were three ways to a Trump victory in November: A global pandemic that forces everyone in the house; a refusal to fund the Postal Service, which will surely affect mail-in voting; and a third-party candidate who surely has no chance at winning but will fuck up the election. The first one is life. The…
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Trump Suggested Mainlining Disinfectants, So Some People Did. Now He’s Not Taking Any Responsibility for It
On Monday, after being a total diva with a coronavirus press conference—first, it was on, then it was off, then it was on again—the president was asked whether he took any responsibility for people using disinfectants improperly after he suggested that it could aid in treating the coronavirus, and you can already guess his answer.…
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Calls to Poison Centers Across the Country Have Gone Up Since Trump Talked About Injecting Disinfectant
Correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation, but it’s hard to say we didn’t see this coming after the president ruminated out loud a few days ago on the usefulness of injecting disinfectant into the body as a kind of “cleaning” to get rid of the coronavirus. Poison Centers across the country are now reporting that emergency…
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Trump Owes State-Owned Chinese Bank a Whole Lotta Bread and That Loan Payment Is Coming Up Soon
Well, what do you know: Turns out that President Trump, aka “Let me get money out of the country because my name is no good here,” owes a shit ton of cash to a state-owned Chinese bank, and that chicken is coming home to get its bread. According to financial records obtained by Politico, the…
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Twitter Fingers: President Troll Face Just Tweeted That He Wants Iranian Gunboats ‘Shot Down’ for Trolling
President 6ix9ine is about to get us into a shitload of shit during a global pandemic when no one can safely leave the goddamn house without a full-on gas mask. On Wednesday, for some reason—and that reason is probably that the “wartime president” is losing the silent war against the coronavirus—the president instructed the U.S.…
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Trump and Fox News Now Acting Like They Weren’t Out Here Pushing ‘Game-Changer’ Drug to Beat Coronavirus
It only took a few weeks and some light testing for President Trump and Fox News to back up after openly promoting and pushing an anti-malaria drug to beat COVID-19 like America had suddenly become Hamsterdam. Once touted by Trump as a “game-changer,” the president has gone full Mariah Carey “I don’t know her” meme…