president
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Bernie Sanders Endorses Joe Biden Because What Else Is He Going to Do?
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders had some really great ideas if he were elected president. He wanted to implement universal health care and free college for all, but it doesn’t matter now because Sen. Sanders wasn’t really personable. In fact, Sanders always looked like he just finished eating a rotten chicken salad sandwich and because of…
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Trump Retweets #FireFauci Because He Hates People Who Tell the Truth
The president is not only a liar, he demands that the people around him push his lies as truth. To this end, it’s always only been a matter of time before the president started looking for ways to get rid of Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.…
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Something Tells Me Joe Biden Is Going to Mess This Up
As a Washington football team fan (until Colin Kaepernick’s protest, when I realized that the Washington team owner is not only a huge asshole but also a huge Trump donor, which is basically saying the same thing), I’m pretty familiar with the idea of a serviceable quarterback. Just a body behind the center calling plays…
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Tiger Beat: Reporter Asks Trump About Pardoning Joe Exotic During a Pandemic
It’s good to know that the reporters over at the New York Post have their fingers on the pulse of America. Currently, the United States is the epicenter of a global pandemic in which people are forced to stay in their homes, death numbers continue to rise and there still appears to be no end…
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You’ll Never Guess W.H.O. Trump Is Blaming for Coronavirus Pandemic Response Failure
President Joe Exotic has found another Carole Baskin to blame for his inept and lackluster response to the Tiger King of viruses. On Wednesday, the president did what he does best and shifted blame for his non-response to COVID-19 to the World Health Organization, claiming that they called it wrong and—get this shit—he also threatened…
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The President Finally Got the Seriousness of Coronavirus After Seeing New York Morgue Truck on TV
Everything is fucked. All of us are on house arrest. There is never enough strawberry cream cheese to make it through these trying times. (Seriously, who is buying all the fucking strawberry cream cheese?) And the President of the United States is so fucking slow that despite coronavirus ravaging the globe, it took him seeing…
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The President Is a Pandemic-Sized Asshole and When He’s Called on It, He Attacks the Media
In the president’s world, everything—the global pandemic, deaths, fear, the lack of toilet paper—all of it is solely about his election and the attempts by the “LameStream media” to keep him from being elected. So the president has decided that he’s going to show everyone—scientists, the media, people who didn’t vote for him and even…
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Utah Sen. Mitt Romney Tested Negative for Coronavirus, So Naturally the President Trolled Him on Twitter
It isn’t like the world is facing a global pandemic so devastating that Spain is currently using an ice skating rink to house dead bodies, so naturally, the president of the United States took time out of his busy day of applying “Pumpkin vomit,” as blush from Taylor Swift’s makeup line “Meh-o-naise,” to tweet his…