Politics
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Joe Biden Really Needs to Sit His Ass Down Somewhere
Former Vice President Joe Biden won’t stop all this tough-talking stuff, and he’s literally becoming the walking meme of himself. During the “It’s on Us” anti-sexual-assault rally that Biden attended Tuesday at the University of Miami, Biden told students that he would’ve “beat the hell out” of Donald Trump if they had gone to school…
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White House Staffer Leaks That Trump Was Warned Not to Congratulate Putin, Then Trump Got Mad About the Leak and Someone Leaked That
Because the White House staff has to talk to the president of the United States like he’s a third-grader, national security advisers put the words “DO NOT CONGRATULATE” in all caps so that the old fool would be sure not to celebrate the sham election win by Russian dictator Vladimir Putin during a call Tuesday.…
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Nazi Has Secured GOP Nomination for Chicago-Area Congressional Seat
A Republican Holocaust denier shunned by his own party will be the GOP nominee for a congressional seat representing a heavily Democratic Chicago suburb. Arthur Jones, a former member of the American Nazi Party, managed to secure the nomination by running unopposed in Tuesday’s primary. As The Hill reports, Jones is an unrepentant anti-Semite and…
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Let’s Discuss How Republicans in Congress Are Complicit in Trump’s Bullshit
There is a $1.3 trillion spending bill being worked on in Congress right now. Democrats wanted to add language to the bill that would protect special counsel Robert Mueller and keep him from being fired by the president. Although a good many of them said that they believe Mueller should be allowed to finish the…
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There’s a Secret Government Document Called the ‘Race Paper’ and It’s Probably Being Used to Monitor Black Activists
When civil rights groups forced the government to release information on how federal law enforcement agencies monitor the scary collective of black bogeyman activists classified as “black identity extremists,” the groups noticed a repeated reference to one specific document. Although it is top secret, the government has confirmed its existence. We know it is nine…
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Trump Congratulates Putin on His Re-Election Because He Loves the Russian President More Than He Loves America
Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin. He openly wants to be him. He secretly wishes that he could be the president of a mob country that hosts sham elections like Putin. Like a teenage boy who’s been forbidden from hanging with the troubled boy down the street, Trump has sneaked out of the house to smoke…
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Retaliation Firings, a Breakfront China Cabinet and a Bootleg Christian Charity: What’s Going On at Ben Carson’s Department of Housing and Urban Development?
First it was reported that Ben Carson, secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and his wife, Candy, were out here balling without a budget, buying some $31,000 of dining room furniture that included a breakfront china cabinet—because nothing says old bougie blackness like a breakfront china cabinet. Initially, Carson denied knowing about…
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Donald Trump Jr.’s Wife Is Leaving Because He’s Cheaper Than a Pair of Plastic Sandals From CVS: Report
This whole administration feels like a bad stand-up-comedy set. Donald Trump Jr. is so cheap … Come on, y’all: “How cheap is he?” He’s so cheap, his wife, Vanessa, is divorcing him because he “treats her like a second-class citizen” and kept his purse strings so tightly pulled that she had to ask her mother…
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Trump Forced Senior Staff to Sign Strict Nondisclosure Agreements Because He Thinks He’s Beyoncé
On the new Dj Khaled song “Top Off,” Beyoncé—who has the best verse on this song and makes it listenable despite being accompanied by her husband and Future—raps, “If they’re tryna party with the queen, they gon’ have to sign a nondisclosure.” It could’ve been a shot at comedian Tiffany Haddish, who publicly told of…
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Jim Carrey Captures Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ Inner Demon in Portrait and the ‘MAGA’ Crowd Isn’t Happy
Funnyman Jim Carrey is actually a really deep dude who meditates and paints. On Saturday, Carrey released a portrait of a woman who favors White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. Somehow, Carrey was able to capture Suckabee’s true inner-demon spirit. It’s almost impossible to truly capture the vile and hideous energy that…