news
-
Officer Loses Retirement Benefits After Fellow KKK Members Tried to Kill Black Prisoner
An administrative board has decided that a former corrections officer and Ku Klux Klan member who conspired to kill a black inmate will lose his state retirement benefits, upholding the ruling of an administrative law judge and… Wait … what? I know it seems like we’re burying the lede. Wherever you live, I’m betting that…
-
Tomi Lahren Says People Are Being Mean to Her And It's All Maxine Waters' Fault
Tomi Lahren, Satan’s blonde-haired colostomy bag, went full snowflake on Fox News Saturday night, explaining that people think she’s a trash human being because of Maxine Waters, and not because she’s actually a trash bag full of right-wing vomit. On Saturday’s episode of Justice with Judge Jeanine, Lahren and Jeanine Pirro put on a miraculous…
-
Judge Orders Cops to Return $20,000 to Exotic Dancer
Florida police officers were forced to give back nearly $20,000 after seizing a cache of guns, money and drugs from an exotic dancer and her husband. Apparently, at Cheetah Gentlemen’s Club in Miami, Fla., exotic dancers can make a lot of money. Whenever you ask a dancer how much money they make, they will usually…
-
White Man Claims Self-Defense After Gunning Down Black Teenager for Shooting Fireworks
A Texas man arrested for killing his teenage neighbor in a dispute over fireworks claims he only shot the victim in self-defense but police say cell-phone video shows otherwise. According to the Austin Statesman, 41-year-old Jason Roche shot 19-year-old Devonte Ortiz on July 4 during a heated dispute over fireworks. Roche told police that he…
-
Denver Snowflakes Melt After Former Congressional Candidate Tweets She Has Given Up on White People
After challenging the Colorado political machine, white feminists, white liberals and the entire Democratic Party, a Colorado woman is causing an avalanche of white tears after she responded to a rhetorical question about giving up on white people by answering: “Yes.” Before we begin, I must acknowledge that Saira Rao and I are best friends.…
-
Paul Blart, Pool Cop Fired After Calling Police on Woman For Swimming in Her Own Pool
The tartar sauce-hued hero who served as sentry to his neighborhood watering hole has lost his job after he sicced the police on a black woman who was trying to sneak into the pool area he patrolled like a fugitive slave catcher. On Friday, Sonoco Products Company announced that Adam Bloom was no longer employed…
-
Black Man Forced to Crawl at Gunpoint After Police Thwart Imaginary Robbery
California officers prevented a nonexistent armed robbery by holding a man at gunpoint and forcing him to crawl on the ground as his uncle and girlfriend watched in horror. Vincent Lemar, who posted a video of the incident to Facebook, said he and his nephew Levell Johnson were attempting to leave the Fresno, Calif., T-Mobile…
-
Hit Musical Featuring Cotton-Picking White People Singing Slave Songs Closes Amid Protests
The world’s biggest jazz festival was forced to end the run of one of its most popular shows after protesters objected to the musical that featured white people picking cotton while a white woman warbled organic, gluten-free, kale-wrapped negro spirituals. Ain’t that good news? Scheduled for five shows, the musical SLĀV was such a surprise…
-
Confederate Barbie Says 'Minority' Who Doesn't Like Confederate Monuments is Like ISIS
A woman continued her crusade to keep the name of a Confederate General on a Georgia park by informing her county commision that erasing the rebel soldier’s name is the same thing Islamic State terrorists did in the Middle East. Previously on “Gone With the Windbag,” East Cobb, Ga. resident Mary Stevens addressed the Cobb…