mitch mcconnell
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Is President Willy Wonka Trying to Reopen the Government Chocolate Factory?
Dueling proposals (read, dicks) are going to be voted on this Thursday as the white men controlling the rest of the planet have reached some sort of agreement that might allow government black folks back to work. From the Hill Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) set up two votes for Thursday afternoon, both of…
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Watch: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the 'Mother of Dragging,' Flames Trump in Her First Floor Speech
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of the House of Congress, The Unscathed, Queen of the Bronx, Torcher of Twitter, Breaker of Boat Shoes, and Mother of Dragging, just made her inaugural speech on the House floor and torched President Trump over his ongoing government shutdown to get money for the wall that Mexico was supposed to pay…
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Mitch 'Turtle Face' McConnell Blocks Bill That Could've Reopened the Government
Senate Republicans are willing to die on this hill wall despite years of having complete control of Congress and doing nothing to make it happen. Now, the plan appears to be to continue to hold federal workers hostage until the president gets his way and can hook his Xbox up to the big TV in…
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Mitch 'Turtle Face' McConnell Changes Tune, Pushes For Criminal Justice Reform Bill Vote
Maybe the Conservative right is trying to play nice with the incoming Democrats taking over the house, or maybe because of Kim Kardashian (you know, the uber-famous basic white woman with the black add-on’s humanitarian efforts that freed unjustly incarcerated Alice Johnson), or maybe because it’s close to Christmas, but it looks like the criminal…
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Top Congressional Leaders on Both Sides Passed on Visiting Pittsburgh With Trump Because He’s Trash
Top Congressional leaders on both sides of the aisle declined to join the president on his trip to Pittsburgh on Tuesday, in the wake of the shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue, which left 11 people dead and several others injured. According to the Hill, “House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) and Senate Majority Leader…
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The 2018 World Wypipo Tournament Championship: The Good Hair vs. the Tortoise
Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to the historic Lawry’s Seasoned Salt Arena—the only place in America that hasn’t been colonized by whiteness—for the Championship Round of the 2018 World Wypipo Tournament! Sixty-four hopeful teams entered this epic free-for-all a scant two weeks ago with hate in their hearts, believing that each of them had…
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‘Where Are the Babies, Mitch?’ Protesters Confront Mitch ‘Turtle Head’ McConnell Outside Restaurant
Unlike Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) was able to enjoy his meal of Hungarian goulash and sautéed bat wings before Louisville, Ky., protesters began barking, “Where are the babies, Mitch”?! According to CNN, McConnell had just downed soup made of calf innards when he was walking through the parking lot. (Fine,…
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West Virginia Pol Uses the Word ‘Negro’ to Defend Racist Ad About ‘China People’
Now that it’s “Trump time” in America, it’s clear that wypipo have gone plumb loco when it comes to spewing the pent-up racial animus they’ve obviously been holding on to for so long. As such, West Virginia coal baron and Republican Don Blankenship is making up for lost time (or a lost era—or a lost…