mitch mcconnell
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Sen. Mitch McConnell Doesn’t Want Dems to Call Witnesses During Impeachment Trial Because He’s a Whole Bitch
On Tuesday, Sen. Mitch “Turtleneck” McConnell (R-Ky.) continued his mission to ruin the impeachment proceedings in the Senate by rejecting Democrats’ demands to have four White House officials called as witnesses because Mitch McConnell is a whole bitch. Here’s what we know is happening: On Wednesday, the House is most certainly going to vote to…
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Mitch McConnell Is a Not-So-Silent but Deadly (Old) Fart
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), the human embodiment of a silent, funky-ass fart, thinks it’s pretty hilarious that the federal courts are being stacked with conservative judges and that he led the Senate in blocking President Obama from installing his own pick for the U.S. Supreme Court. McConnell is so pleased with himself, he…
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Houston Police Chef Skewers Ted Cruz, NRA Over Gun Control: ‘Whose Side Are You On?’
Gun control is a bit of a complicated issue but no matter which side of the argument you fall on, it’s painfully clear that it’s time for change. In 2019 alone, there have been almost 400 mass shootings. And with the National Rifle Association doing just about everything humanly possible to maintain the status quo,…
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The Man Who Dissed Mitch McConnell Says It Had Nothing to Do With Elijah Cummings. The Untold Backstory Is Even Worse
Senate Majority Leader and Zombie Voldemort, Mitch McConnell, went viral this weekend after a close friend of legendary Baltimore Congressman Elijah Cummings refused to shake the hand of He Who Should Not Be Named. Bobby Rankin, a longtime friend of the late Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), served as a pallbearer at Cummings’ memorial service on…
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Calls Out Mitch McConnell After 'Team Mitch' Thugs Groped and Choked an AOC Cutout
A group of vagrants wearing gang logos and insignias spelling out “Team Mitch” posed for a photo showing them assaulting a cardboard cutout of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In the photo, which was spread widely on social media, the future Supreme Court judges can be seen “groping and choking” the freshman representative from New York. All…
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Ta-Nehisi Coates Clapped Back at Mitch McConnell for Saying ‘No One Alive’ Is Liable for Reparations. So We Came Up With a List
On Wednesday, the House Judiciary Committee’s Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Civil Liberties held a hearing about H.R. 40, a proposal from Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) that would authorize a national apology and study reparations for slavery and racial discrimination against black people in America. Among those testifying before the subcommittee was…
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Mitch McConnell on Reparations: 'We’ve Elected an African-American President'
The topic of reparations has been on the tip of everyone’s tongues as of late, culminating in a House hearing on Wednesday that will explore the subject and “examine, through open and constructive discourse, the legacy of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, its continuing impact on the community and the path to restorative justice.” The latest…
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Mitch McConnell Leads the Pack in Race to Climb the Farthest Up Trump's Ass
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is leading the three-man race to become Trump’s favorite set of anal beads. So far, after two years in office, the race to be Trump’s whipping boy has been a three-way tie between California Rep. Devin Nunes, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, and McConnell. All three men have gone…
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Republicans Oppose Proposed Law That Would Fight White Supremacy, Restore Democracy and Empower Black Voters
Democrats have proposed H.R. 1, a bill that would make our democracy more equitable, improved access for vulnerable groups to have a real say in how we are governed, and roll back voting restrictions that have disproportionately harmed people of color. That’s why it is the first bill of the new Democratic House majority—and likely…
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Mitch McConnell's Slow and Steady Pace Avoids Run-in with Furloughed Government Employees
Frustrated with Senate Majority Leader and Turtle Club President Emeritus Mitch McConnell, furloughed federal employees gave the Kentucky senator a piece of their mind. McConnell, sensing the commotion from just beyond his heating lamp, wasn’t around to see it. After waiting in vain for McConnell to use his considerable power and influence to end the…