Donald Trump
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The Burgeoning Humanitarian Crisis in Puerto Rico
While the Demented Cheese-Grit-in-Chief’s war against black athletes dominates headlines and social media feeds in the United States, Puerto Rico faces an increasingly desperate situation after Hurricane Maria devastated the island Thursday. Supplies and aid are headed to the island from the U.S. mainland Monday, but without power and the ability to communicate (CNN reports…
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Pharrell Williams Takes a Knee During Charlottesville, Va., Concert
Pharrell Williams headlined the Concert for Charlottesville on Sunday night and joined in protests of Donald Trump’s recent comments about NFL players kneeling during the national anthem. The concert, an event hosted by Dave Matthews following the deadly protests that took place in the Virginia college town last month, gave Williams the platform he needed…
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Did Mike Tomlin Pull Some Black-Ass Judo With His Answer to Why the Steelers Stayed in the Locker Room?
The present-day Pittsburgh Steelers exist as a paradox. They have been led, for the last 11 years, by a black coach who was considered for the position in large part because of the Rooney Rule—a policy requiring NFL teams to interview minority candidates for coaching and upper-management positions. The rule is named after Dan Rooney—the…
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Trump’s Hate-Filled Rant Against Black Protest May Have Just Ensured Kaepernick an NFL Job
President Donald Trump just might have helped Colin Kaepernick get back in the NFL. Trump spoke to a Huntsville, Ala., crowd on Friday night and did what he’s done best since taking office: continued to rip the fabric of America down the racial seam. During his rambling, emphatically racist rant, Trump exclaimed: “Wouldn’t you love…
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Donald Trump Rescinds Steph Curry’s Invitation to White House
Donald J. Trump furthered his argument for pettiest president of all time Saturday morning when he presumably woke up, ate some leftover KFC for breakfast, watched cartoons for a few minutes and, as he sat under the complex machinery that applies his wig and spray tan, decided that he didn’t want Stephen Curry at the…
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Dotard in Chief Calls the Mothers of Peaceful NFL Protesters ‘Bitches’
In an unhinged rant while stumping for Republican Sen. Luther Strange of Alabama, Darth Cheeto went Full Darth Cheeto (again) and blamed the NFL’s declining ratings on protesting and … penalties, called for protesting NFL players to be fired, and asked the crowd if they’d “love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody…
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Trump Curses NFL’s Black Protesters, Suggests They Should Be Fired
“Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. Out. He’s fired.” That’s not a quote from some random, drunk, half-wit blowhard. The president of the United States of America said that. OK, technically, Donald Trump isn’t known for his outstanding IQ or using carefully measured language, but he doesn’t drink, so when…
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An Annotated Translation of the Greatest Clapback of All Time
The text of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s response to Donald Trump’s United Nations speech will go down as one of the pettiest incidents in the annals of international shade throwing. To highlight the cataclysmic clapback of this piece of art, we assembled a group of world-renowned pettyologists from Atlanta; Compton, Calif.; and Brooklyn,…
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5 Times Donald Trump Proved to Be a Dotard
There are very few times that I’ve ever found myself agreeing with the rhetoric of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. But Kim’s clapback after President Nooshi von BackWash screamed on him on a world stage (talking shit about a world leader during the United Nations General Assembly is the political equivalent of screaming on…
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Does Donald Trump Struggle With Reading? An Investigation
People across social media made fun of Donald Trump on Wednesday when he referred to the African country of Namibia as “Nambia.” Everyone laughed but me. Even though I am well-known for the sensitivity and politically correct tactfulness that I display on a regular basis (hey, don’t laugh!), there is another reason that I didn’t…