Donald Trump
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Donald Trump Sounds Crazy at Easter Egg Roll, Tells Children the Military Is at a Level They’ve Never Seen Before
President Donald Trump is crazier than a shit-house rat. I don’t know what a shit house is or why shit-house rats are crazier than normal rats, but I do know that Trump is even crazier. On Monday, Trump dyed his body with orange Easter egg paint and greeted the children for the annual Easter Egg…
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Report: Trump, GOP Seriously Considering Reparations to Attract Black Voters
Faced with declining polls and widespread losses in the 2018 midterm congressional elections, multiple media outlets report that the Republican National Committee, along with the Donald Trump campaign team, is working on a plan to offer reparations to the African-American descendants of slaves. According to sources, the discussions began during a Republican brainstorming session on…
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Oh, Yes He Did: Donald J. Trump Declares April National Sexual Assault Awareness Month
It’s clear that President Donald Trump has left shame way back in the place where his top hairs used to be—the distant past. But seriously, what shame? The ease with which lies roll off his forked tongue, and the fact that he chooses his advisers and Cabinet with the same criteria for a stay at…
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Here’s Why Trump Blasted Amazon on Twitter (Hint: It Has Nothing to Do With Amazon)
During the president’s Thursday-morning bathroom time, in which he forces all of his assistants to talk to him through the door, the president did his usual random morning toilet tweeting, this time railing against Amazon.com. So let’s examine this tweet fully. First off, there is no racist dog whistle in this tweet, since Donald Trump…
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Police Shooting and Killing Black Men? It’s Not the White House’s Problem, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Says
On March 18, two police officers in Sacramento, Calif., shot and killed 22-year-old Stephon Clark in the backyard of his grandparents’ home. It is not the first extrajudicial execution of a black man by police, and if there is no change soon, it likely won’t be the last. The nation is watching the aftermath of…
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Can Someone in the White House Run and Get the KFC Bucket off the Old Fool’s Head? He’s Recklessly Tweeting Again
President Krusty Fried Cuckold—wait, did you see what I did there? KFC? OK, let me start over. Donald Trump is recklessly tweeting again, and he’s using all caps and throwing his weight around. Somehow, someone inside the White House left the child lock off of his phone, and I guess during his morning session of…
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Howard Stern to Donald Trump: Get Out of the White House
Radio host Howard Stern is a little annoyed that his friend and frequent guest on his radio show, President Donald Trump, hasn’t reached out to him for advice on how to handle the accusations from porn actress Stormy Daniels. For those of you who don’t wade in thot waters (talking about the president here, not…
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The White House Is Building an Opioid Memorial to Memorialize Fallen Whiteness
Can someone tell me where the crack memorial is in Washington, D.C.? Seriously, where is the wall with the list of names of all the people gone too soon to the drug that ravaged the black community? Or, even more so, where can I find the heroin memorial in Baltimore? Baltimore has been pegged the…
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President Pussy Grabber Wants to Bring Alleged Domestic Abuser Back to the White House: Report
The president of the United States never wanted White House staff secretary Rob Porter to leave the White House. Didn’t matter that at the time of Porter’s resignation, he was facing two allegations that he’d abused two former wives. Didn’t matter that the White House knew about these allegations before the women’s allegations were reported…