Donald Trump
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The Trump Administration Has Mastered the Art of the ‘Grumblebrag’
We all know these people: the North American humblebragger. They are insufferable at any job, cookout or dinner party. You can hear them, across the room, in the next office, standing out on the patio talking loud enough on their cellphones that everyone else can hear: “Nah, I’m gonna let it ring. I told Barack,…
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Trump Called Undocumented Immigrants ‘Animals,’ and That’s Exactly What He Meant
On Wednesday during a White House meeting with mayors, sheriffs and other local leaders from California who oppose the state’s “sanctuary” immigration policies, President Donald Trump referred to some people who cross the borders illegally as “animals,” and that’s exactly what he meant. “We have people coming into the country, or trying to come in—and…
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Racist Man Who Threatened to Call ICE on Spanish Speakers to Be Besieged by Mariachis and Tacos, Thanks to the Internet
After identifying the raving racist who threatened to call Immigration and Customs Enforcement on Spanish speakers at a New York City deli, the internet is clapping back in the most delicious, delightful way. Seriously, it involves tacos and mariachis. And possibly piñatas. A Go Fund Me campaign has raised over $1,000 to send mariachis and…
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Well, What Do You Know? Trump Did Reimburse Lawyer for Porn-Star Payment: Report
For months, President Donald Trump claimed that he had no idea that his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, paid porn actress Stormy Daniels, who reportedly spanked the president’s orange-tinted ass with a rolled Forbes magazine, for her silence about the sordid affair. Well, it turns out that Maury’s lie detector has determined that that was a…
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#StayWoke: The Real Reason Trump’s Trying to Make China Great Again
On Sunday, seemingly out of nowhere, President Donald Trump tweeted that he was going to ease crushing sanctions on Chinese phone company ZTE, which, under President Barack Obama’s administration, pissed off the United States by selling Iran’s largest telecom firm a powerful surveillance system capable of spying on its citizens. After an investigation in 2012,…
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While Trump Congratulates Israel and Plugs Fox News, Here’s What’s Happening in Gaza
Shortly before 7 a.m. Monday, Donald Trump began his day on Twitter by plugging the opening of the new U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem this way: by plugging the event’s coverage on Fox News. Meanwhile, here’s what was happening on the Gaza Strip, where dozens of Palestinians were killed by Israeli troops as they protested the…
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Trump Knew Former New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman Was an Alleged Sexual Abuser in 2013: Report
President Donald Trump reportedly knew that Eric Schneiderman, the former New York attorney general, was accused of sexually abusing two women back in 2013. It was news that was kept under wraps until recently, when four women came forward to claim in a New Yorker report that they were the victims of sexual assault during…
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Did Michael Cohen Get $600,000 From AT&T so Trump Would Kill Net Neutrality and OK a Merger?
Whenever anyone asks, “Isn’t it funny how … ,” they are usually accusing someone of something without explicitly saying it. For instance: Isn’t it funny how your boyfriend always needs to go to the other room when he receives late-night texts? Isn’t it funny how we’ve never seen Sarah Huckabee Sanders in the same room…
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Gina Haspel, Trump’s Pick to Run the CIA, Is a Thug
On Wednesday, Gina Haspel, President Donald Trump’s nomination to head the CIA, made her first appearance before a Senate committee hearing, and she sounded like and looked the part of a sweet, cookie-baking grandmother who wants nothing more than to “Make America great again.” But make no mistake about it; during her 33 years with…
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Trump Wants the Nobel Peace Prize, and With His Latest Moves, the Deplorable in Chief Just Might Win
Thank you, North Korea, for releasing three American detainees early Thursday morning; but damn you, North Korea, for releasing them to the worst president to ever spit tabacky juice into an Oval Office trash can. In the dead of night, like a made-for-TV moment, President Donald Trump welcomed Kim Dong Chul, Kim Hak-song and Kim…