Donald Trump
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Trump Wants to Punish Journalists, Admits That ‘Fake News’ Is Anything Negative About His Administration
President Donald Trump is a lot of things—a man who paints his skin with the finest orange Krylons; a fine connoisseur of America’s best xenophobia, misogyny and racism—but he is not a smart man. Despite his team’s best efforts to keep a phone out of his tiny hands, somehow President Jebediah von Sleufoot continues to…
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Donald Trump Has a Doppelgänger: A Spanish Woman Who Farms Potatoes
Of all the things a person could gain notoriety for, being a doppelgänger for Donald Trump is probably not very high on the list. Think about it. Who wants to look like the dotard in chief, all orange spray tan and squinty-eyed, with curiously attached hairpiece (that is a hairpiece, right?) flopping every which way…
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Arizona Sen. John McCain Really Hates Trump; Doesn’t Even Want the President to Attend His Funeral
Sen. John McCain, the Arizona Republican who once voted against making Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday a national holiday, is not long for this world. According to several reports, the 81-year-old, who has been battling an aggressive form of brain cancer for almost a year, has been getting his funeral guest list in order. NBC…
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Donald Trump and John Kelly Just Came Out as BFFs, so Kelly’s About to Get Fired, Right?
Donald Trump spoke up Friday to refute rumors that there is drama between him and his chief of staff, John Kelly, that could lead to a potential ousting of the ex-Marine whom many have labeled “the adult” in the White House. The Associated Press reports that the president said Kelly is “doing a fantastic job”…
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Trump Just Thanked Kanye for Doubling His Poll Numbers; Here’s Why This Has Become Dangerous
To many, Kanye West is merely an egomaniacal rapper. To others, he’s a powerful black force with T’Challa-like abilities to rally those who worship at the altar of Yeezus. I believe the former, but it sounds like President Donald Trump believes the latter, since he just thanked “Make America great again” Ye for doubling his…
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Khaki Pants, Meet Tiki Torch: Trump Just Suggested That Rudy Giuliani Needs to ‘Learn Before You Speak’
The idea that Donald J. Trump, president of all the VFW posts in the Midwest, would suggest that ex-New York Mayor and lifetime deplorable Rudy Giuliani needs to learn before he speaks is rich, but that’s exactly what happened Friday before the president departed for Dallas, where he will address the National Rifle Association. “He’ll…
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Donald Trump Apparently Thinks Putting Kanye West in a Room With Colin Kaepernick Can Solve Racism
The Donald Trump adviser who solved Chicago’s violence problem in early 2017 by speaking to some of the city’s “top gang thugs” has received approval from the White House to invite Kanye West, Colin Kaepernick, Jim Brown and Mike Tyson to a summit to discuss race in America. What could go wrong? According to HuffPost,…
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It’s Been a Week; Can We Finally Admit That Everybody Won at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner?
Sometimes you have to wait a week to see if something really takes hold. Did I actually like Infinity War or was I just shocked and emotional? Is Ben Simmons really the new LeBron James or just Jason Kidd with less baggage? Did I really like that new Travis Scott track or was I just…
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Feds Tapped Longtime Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen’s Phone Weeks Before Raid: Report
President Donald Trump’s longtime personal attorney Michael Cohen’s phones were tapped weeks before federal investigators executed a search warrant on his office. According to several reports, Cohen, who rose to national infamy after making a reported $130,000 payment to prevent porn actress Stormy Daniels from giving the details surrounding her alleged affair with Trump, had…