Donald Trump
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It’s Been a Week; Can We Finally Admit That Everybody Won at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner?
Sometimes you have to wait a week to see if something really takes hold. Did I actually like Infinity War or was I just shocked and emotional? Is Ben Simmons really the new LeBron James or just Jason Kidd with less baggage? Did I really like that new Travis Scott track or was I just…
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Feds Tapped Longtime Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen’s Phone Weeks Before Raid: Report
President Donald Trump’s longtime personal attorney Michael Cohen’s phones were tapped weeks before federal investigators executed a search warrant on his office. According to several reports, Cohen, who rose to national infamy after making a reported $130,000 payment to prevent porn actress Stormy Daniels from giving the details surrounding her alleged affair with Trump, had…
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10 ‘Heroes’ Who Should Win Awards Before Donald Trump Gets a Nobel Peace Prize
Donald Trump has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. No, seriously. Eighteen Republican lawmakers have nominated Sir Lies-a-Lot for a Nobel motherfucking Peace Prize because he threatened to jump-start a pre-emptive nuclear holocaust so many times that two hated rivals (North Korea and South Korea) decided they probably needed to get together before this…
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Darrell Scott and Trump’s White House Want to Talk About Race; This Is a Horrible Idea
On the heels of Kanye West’s full “Make America great again” rants, one of Donald Trump’s most prominent blacks and the conkiest-conk-to-ever-conk, Cleveland pastor Darrell Scott, has been kicking around the idea of having multiple summits on race that would include athletes and artists; and the White House is actually considering this. According to Politico,…
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White House Lead Russia Lawyer Stepping Down and Trump’s Latest Tweet: Signs That Russia Investigation Is Getting Really Messy
At the end of the month, Ty Cobb, the top Trump White House attorney handling the Russia investigation, will step down from his position as the White House plans to make a shift to a more aggressive legal strategy to combat special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian collusion in the 2016 presidential election. According…
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White Supremacist Gangs Are Getting Busted for Trafficking Drugs, but You Won’t Hear Trump Say Shhhhh … About It
On Monday the Department of Justice announced that it was hitting 57 members of white supremacist gangs with charges of kidnapping and drug conspiracies—the result of a drug-trafficking sting in North Texas. As Newsweek reports, the gang members were members of various groups, including the Aryan Brotherhood of Texas, Dirty White Boys and Aryan Circle.…
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President Declares State of Emergency After White Tears Flood Correspondents’ Dinner
I’ve seen a lot of white things in my life. I once watched a man tongue-kiss his dog as if it were prom night. Just the other day, I witnessed a recipe for green macaroni and cheese. Once, while standing in line to buy a gift at Macy’s, I’m pretty sure I listened to an…
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Watch: Nigerian President Asked About Trump’s ‘Shithole Country’ Remarks During White House Visit
For the first time since Omarosa’s firing, the president is hosting a black person at the White House whose name doesn’t rhyme with Fen Barson. On Monday, the White House staff pulled out the good silverware for Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari. According to CBS News, the meeting between the president of an advanced country and…
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Watch: Trump Wants to Build That Dumbass Wall, but He’s Totally Fine With Low-Wage Foreign Guest Workers
During his millionth rally to drum up support for the presidential office that he already holds, Donald Trump told those in attendance that he had an answer for farmers who he noted may suffer “a little pain for a little while” because of his administration’s shady trade deals with several foreign partners. The answer (you…
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Donald Trump Just Tweeted About His Pal Kanye and I Think I’m Going to Be Sick
I swear, Kanye West is pretty much killing us die-hard fans (or, at this point, “me”) since he’s gotten back on Twitter, ostensibly in a publicity quest leading up to releasing between two and five albums in the next few weeks. Since he’s opened the Pandora’s box of his mouth after having an alleged psychotic…