Donald Trump
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I’m Kind of Enjoying How Donald Trump Is Making the NFL Owners Eat Shit
The search for meaningful silver linings during Donald Trump’s presidency largely rests on the concept of maybe. Maybe this’ll inspire us to be more politically active. Maybe the Democratic Party will embrace a more progressive agenda instead of attempting to partner double Dutch with the right. Maybe, since Trump’s ascension has spawned an atmosphere where…
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Eagles ‘Disinvited’ From the White House Because Trump Is Petty
The Philadelphia Eagles were recently disinvited from the White House. A recent statement from President Donald Trump said that the 2018 Super Bowl champions were “unable” to come to the White House because “they disagree with their president” about standing during the national anthem. Here are the facts: Fewer than 10 Eagles had planned to…
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Trump Believes That Kim and Kanye Are Helping With His Popularity Among African Americans!
President Donald Trump recently welcomed the vapid mosh pit of black-woman body parts that is Kim Kardashian West to the abhorrent sinkhole, aka the White House, to discuss prison reform—which is funny because they were two knowledgeable people short of an actual discussion about prison reform. Together, the reality stars who have successfully parlayed their…
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Philly Mayor Blames Trump for Eagles Team Not Wanting to Visit
The Philadelphia Eagles are still celebrating their Super Bowl win, but they won’t be doing it at the White House. Fewer than 10 of the players planned to attend the White House visit, so the offer was taken back. Supposedly, they were disinvited because the team doesn’t agree with standing during the national anthem. President…
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Wait, Was That a Melania Trump Look-Alike?
A woman with the facial structure and permanent scowl worn by first lady Melania Trump made an appearance Monday evening with her husband and legal captor, Donald Trump. The woman who answered to the name Melania was alongside the president during a ceremony to honor Gold Star families. While many, including this writer, believe that…
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Valedictorian Is Cheered for Quoting Trump, Booed When He Reveals It’s Actually an Obama Quote
The audience at a high school in Kentucky was caught trying to make graduations great again when the valedictorian fooled the pro-Donald Trump crowd into applauding a quote from the collusion king, only to find out that the words actually belonged to Barack Obama. Like Taylor Swift music, Birkenstock stores and Trump’s vision of America,…
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#ObstructionGate: Former FBI Official’s Memo Hints That Comey Firing Was Related to Russia Investigation
Like his predecessor James Comey, former acting Federal Bureau of Investigation director Andrew G. McCabe wrote confidential memos detailing conversations he thought might be important later. One of those memos detailed a meeting that McCabe had with Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein in which Comey’s firing was discussed. That memo has now been turned over…
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Trump’s On-Again, Off-Again Relationship With North Korea Is Back On. Again
Previously on White House Apprentice, Donald Trump had a meeting scheduled with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. Trump later canceled the meeting, accusing North Korea of acting in bad faith. He sent Kim a letter more emotional than the four-page one Aaliyah wrote, explaining his reasons for canceling and why he didn’t think things between…
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Trevor Noah: The Key to a Trump Pardon? Racist Barack Obama Tweets
In a “take me serious” black outfit and yellow heels, Kim Kardashian was all business as she marched her way into the White House Wednesday to speak to Donald Trump about prison reform and pardoning Alice Marie Johnson. Johnson’s story tugged at Kardashian’s heart when she learned about the life sentence without parole she was…
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How Much Does It Cost to Find Out if the Trump Campaign Colluded With the Russians? $17 Million So Far
Robert Mueller was appointed special counsel on May 17, 2017, and tasked with finding out whether or not members of the Trump campaign colluded with Russia to disrupt the 2016 U.S. presidential election. In the year since his appointment, his team has managed to secure guilty pleas from Donald Trump’s foreign policy aide George Papadopoulos,…