Donald Trump
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White Supremacy's Best Friend: Why Tim Scott Is the GOP's Magical Negro
Black people are literally magic. Now, I don’t believe in magic, but I’m pretty sure white people do. The only reason anyone could subject a people to the invisible-but-natural force of white supremacy is if they believed we possessed a power that they don’t have. There is no way any human being could deny Black…
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Debate Commission Working to Provide More Structure After Tuesday Night's Debacle. Here Are Some Suggestions
Following the shitshow masquerading as the first presidential debate Tuesday night, the Commission on Presidential Debates has promised format changes for the second debate. NBC News reports that the changes come as a result of President Donald Trump constantly flaunting the established rules. The result was a debate rife with interruptions and name-calling, with little…
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Donald Trump Jr. Speaks Rapidly Before Debate; Twitter Wants to Know If He’s on Coke
Tuesday was a big day for the Trump family—and no, the family wasn’t going to meet Melania’s boyfriend. “Big Donald,” as they call him at the Hair Cuttery, was heading into his first presidential debate against Joe Biden and Donald Trump Jr. couldn’t contain his excitement. Either that or “Not Ivanka”—as they call him around…
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Proud Boys Celebrate Trump's Call to 'Stand Back and Stand By' During Tuesday's Debate
The Grand Wizard…sorry, president of the United States horrified a lot of people Tuesday night with his astoundingly atrocious debate performance. Not everyone was plunged into a pit of existential despair, though, as the Proud Boys were celebrating the co-sign President Trump gave them during the debate. NBC News reports that multiple social media accounts…
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America Ain't Better Than This
I forget exactly how old I was. Maybe 9. Maybe 10. It was summer. A Sunday. Dad and I were preparing to spend the day at the hoop courts behind Reizenstein—him running full on the main court with the rest of the oldheads, and me doing Mikans and playing 33 on side hoops with whichever…
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5 Things We Learned From the Worst Verzuz Battle in American History
If the Rockettes dressed in poop emoji costumes kicked oversized, stuffed poop emojis into a crowd of NASCAR fans while trying to put out a dumpster fire inside a locker room toilet, it still would’ve been less of a shitshow than what happened Tuesday night. Former Vice President Joe Biden and the President of the…
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Obama, Jeezy, Team Biden Focus on Black Voters as Trump Focuses on Killing Them
Jeezy is not “young” anymore, and while The Root could not verify the color of Jeezy’s Lamborghini or his rims, we can, unfortunately, confirm that his president is no longer Black. To help rectify the situation and make sure that the next vice president is Black and the House, Senate and executive branch are blue,…
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The 'Dindu' Conspiracy: Donald Trump, America and an Inanimate Object Called Whiteness
Herman Tucker didn’t do anything. In 1964, when members of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan abducted and murdered James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner (pdf) for the egregious crime of registering Black people to vote, many of the residents of Philadelphia, Miss., knew the names of the people involved but did…
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A List of Broke-Ass Shit Still Less Broke Than Y'all's Broke-Ass President
1. Lonzo Ball’s jump shot 2. The Pittsburgh Public School System 3. The Kardashians, if they lived in a world where spicy-ish white girls weren’t catnip to thirsty niggas 4. Me, at 26 5. Actually, me until like 17 minutes ago 6. The clippers that Rajon Rondo’s bubble barber must’ve used 7. The Barksdale family…