chuck schumer
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Chuck Schumer: Trump Can't 'Take Hostages' In Negotiations Over Border Security
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer was in a relaxed, confident mood when I met him in his office Tuesday afternoon—and for good reason. President Donald Trump had recently been forced to agree to the Democratic position that the government be reopened before any talks about a possible border wall—the reason Trump shut the government down—without…
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Is President Willy Wonka Trying to Reopen the Government Chocolate Factory?
Dueling proposals (read, dicks) are going to be voted on this Thursday as the white men controlling the rest of the planet have reached some sort of agreement that might allow government black folks back to work. From the Hill Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) set up two votes for Thursday afternoon, both of…
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Trump Sends Temper Tantrum Tweet Denying He Threw a Temper Tantrum
The president of people who ride recumbent bikes issued a series of whiny, fussy, I-didn’t-have-a good-nap-laced tweets aimed at his brief meeting with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi at the White House Wednesday afternoon. You know, the meeting that Trump held and then stormed out of as soon as he…
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Trump Just Threw a Temper Tantrum and Walked Out of a Meeting Over a Wall That Only Racists Want
President Don Snow, the watcher of the wall who is valiantly protecting America from the White Brown Walkers, showed today that his negotiating tactics amounted to a huffy child folding his arms and storming out of the room after learning that he’s not getting a Nintendo Switch until he gets his grades up. On Wednesday…
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Trump Invited Democratic Leaders to the White House and It Was an Absolute Shit Show
For some reason unbeknownst to God and errrbody, President Donald Trump thought it was a good idea to host top House and Senate Democrats at the Oval Office. He invited the same Dems he openly mocks on his Twitter and made the meeting open to the press. Needless to say, it went south fast. Sitting…
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Congress Meets Saturday to Try to End Government Shutdown
Though there is enough hand-wringing, blame (see #ShumerShutdown, #SchumerShutdown, #TrumpShutdown) and hypocrisy to go around, the fact is that the federal government shuttered after midnight on Friday. Now members of Congress are scheduled to meet Saturday to strike a deal. The Washington Post reports that the House was expected to reconvene at 9 a.m. and…
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White Supremacist Troll Low-Key Stalks Maxine Waters; George Zimmerman Mixes Her Up With Another Black Woman
Well-known white supremacist troll Chuck C. Johnson somehow found himself on a plane with Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) and snapped her pic in some kind of weird, stalkery behavior. As Little Green Footballs reports, Johnson was recently in the news for hyping a fraudulent sexual harassment allegation against Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), and must have…
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Senate Passes Major Tax Overhaul 51-49, Cutting Corporate Taxes and Gutting Student Loan Write-Offs
The United States may be getting a major tax overhaul after Senate Republicans scraped their way to a victory early Saturday morning, with a bill that critics say senators haven’t read and one that gives major concessions to corporations and the wealthy. The bill, approved just before 2 a.m. in a 51-49 vote, next heads…
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Trump Hosted an Empty-Chair Meeting After ‘Chuck and Nancy’ Told Him to Kick Rocks
Let’s recap, shall we? President Shoofly von BotherEveryone was supposed to host a meeting with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to discuss preventing a possible government shutdown. Before the meeting, President DoucheFace von FrostedTufts decided that it would be a good idea to tweet how ineffective and…
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‘Chuck and Nancy’ Cancel Meeting With Trump Because He’s an Asshole
Democratic leaders Sen. Chuck Schumer of New York and Rep. Nancy Pelosi of California are getting tired of President Donald Trump’s shit. Fine, I don’t know if they are, but we, the collective millions of us who didn’t vote for him, are. Nevertheless, Schumer and Pelosi were supposed to meet Tuesday afternoon to prevent a government…