The polysyllabic, jawlineless serial sayer of stupid shit, semiprofessional shucker, vapid brandisher of big words, overly animated inducer of “Whose mans is this?” forehead slope nationally known as Stephen A. Smith recently ruffled the feathers of Cleveland Cavaliers player J.R. Smith (no relation) when ESPN’s sentient scrotum sack of overly apologetic blackness insinuated that NBA players shouldn’t wear hoodies because it might make white people feel bad.
Stephen A. took some time on his radio show to attack another black athlete who he feels doesn’t live up to his standard of stepping or the high level of fetching he has set for himself, adding to a dossier that includes hating on Michael Bennett, Colin Kaepernick and Kevin Durant while defending such notable positions as why we should respect Donald Trump and punching women in the face.
As he made marginally salient points about Cleveland point guard J.R. Smith, Stephen A.’s argument curiously transformed into a statement about black men wearing hoodies. He explained:
And in Game 1, when they played against Boston, J.R. Smith was sitting on that bench with a hoodie on. I don’t know why Nike made these damn uniforms that had hoods attached to it, by the way. You got a lot of white folks in the audience that are gonna think this is Trayvon Martin being revisited, and I’m not joking about it. The bench is no place for someone to be wearing hoodies.
I have no problem with hoodies. People shouldn’t be stereotyped and stigmatized for wearing hoodies. I totally agree with the Miami Heat, and Dwyane Wade, and LeBron James, and Chris Bosh, and Ray Allen and all those guys when they donned those hoodies back then, after the shooting of Trayvon Martin by wannabe cop Mr. Zimmerman, who should have been convicted. But the bench? For a basketball player? Sitting on the bench with his team, that is no place for a hoodie. I don’t know why the hell Nike did that. They need to get rid of those damn hoodies. There’s no place for a hoodie. A hoodie shouldn’t be attached to a uniform that you can wear while you’re on the bench during a game, but J.R. Smith had it on.
Hold up. I think I need to read that again because, upon first glance, it seems like he prefaced his statement by saying how he has no problem with hoodies and that people shouldn’t be stereotyped for wearing hoodies. Then he went on to explain his problems with hoodies by stereotyping people for wearing hoodies. I must be wrong. Maybe I should go to YouTube and listen to the audio.
Nope. I was right.
J.R. Smith responded to the baseless attack by tweeting a series of condemnations that could only be called “the truth”:
But let’s unpack Stephen A. Smith’s argument. Nike, which provides the uniforms and warmups for the Cavaliers, recently made a warmup suit that features a hood. Stephen A. is essentially criticizing J.R. Smith for wearing his uniform in the manner in which it was intended: to keep him warm on the bench.
What ESPN’s resident blowhard is insinuating is that black players should go out of their way to make white people feel comfortable, being careful to examine how the actions of sitting down wearing the clothes that they are required to wear might somehow unintentionally cause white people to remember that an innocent boy who had committed no crime was shot in the chest by a grown man who stalked him.
According to the All Lives Matter-proclaiming Stephen A. Smith, it is J.R. Smith’s duty not to trigger white people.
But we already know who Stephen A. Smith is. He is the guy who once tweeted that there is nothing wrong with a candidate saying “All Lives Matter” because #BlackLivesMatter says nothing when “black folks are killing other black folks.”
This is the same bag of fuckboy flatulence who thought it was necessary to remind women not to provoke men into punching them in the face in the wake of Ray Rice’s elevator knockout of his wife.
This is the man who used his nationally televised platform to chide Michael Bennett for hoping Colin Kaepernick gets a job because, as Stephen A. put it, “Go ahead and root for Kaepernick to get a job. ... But if you’re gonna delve further and try to treat him like he’s some kind of martyr, do me a favor: Remember the real ones that represented first, not just the ones you happen to be pretty damn cool with.”
And if you wondered why I called Stephen A. a semiprofessional shucker but didn’t mention his jiving accomplishments, never forget that Stephen A. Smith, the knighted protector of white fragility willing to stiff-arm black people whenever they dare to damage the frail sensibilities of his Caucasian overlords, once did this:
Read more at SB Nation.