Welp, it happened, Black people: Stacey Dash was finally able to Get Out.
That’s right, the been-Clueless actor and former Fox Noose...I mean, News contributor has notified the sunken place that she will be vacating the premises ASAP and to please forward all of her mail to Herschel Walker. Dash has decided she will no longer be the real-life version of the guy she was dating in Mo’ Money before she met Johnny. She will no longer be the beta program that came out before the launch of Candace Owens 2-point-Oh Negro Please.
Actually, I’m not sure if any of the above is true, as she was kind of vague about things when she sat down for an exclusive interview with DailyMailTV Wednesday, during which she declared that she no longer fucks with politics and that she now denounces Donald Trump—who she endorsed for president in 2016—as well as Fox News, which she said suckered her into being its resident “angry conservative Black woman” before the network gave her the boot.
She also apologized for controversial remarks she’s made in the past.
“There are things that I am sorry for,” Dash said. “Things that I did say, that I should not have said them the way I said them. They were very arrogant and prideful and angry. And that’s who Stacey was, but that’s not who Stacey is now. Stacey’s someone who has compassion, empathy.”
Again, Dash—as in “Dash from the house back to the field”—didn’t get into any specifics about which things she’s sorry she said, so I can’t confirm that she was definitely talking about that time she did that dumb thing people do when they ask then immediately answer their own question. Speaking of dumb:
“Do I know every person in the neo-Nazi party, if they have a good heart or not?” Dash asked in 2018 while defending Trump’s “very fine people on both sides” comment following the deadly Charlottesville, Va., rally for white supremacy in 2017. “No, I do not.”
Perhaps it has finally donned on Dash that if Nazis had good hearts, they WOULDN’T BE FUCKING NAZIS!
Or maybe she’s apologizing for the time she called Jesse Williams a “Hollywood plantation slave” as if Dash—as in “Dasher and tap Dancer and Don-Trumper and Fox Vixen”—has any room to call anyone a stuck-on-the-plantation-ass-nigga.
Listen: I don’t have time to go through a list of all of the things Dame Dash’s embarrassing cousin has said over the years. (Besides, The Root already made a list.) The point is, she appears to be contrite and has come to realize that “anger is unsustainable and it will destroy you,” and that she “made a lot of mistakes because of that anger.”
Of course, Dash also did a little white-adjacent tears-crying when she talked about how she’s “been basically blacklisted” from Hollywood and that “being a Black conservative is not easy.”
Also—and this is where it becomes clear that she’s really only leaving her sunken place rental property for an upgraded, slightly less-sunken land plot to build her new home on—during the interview, Dash claimed erroneously that conservatism is for the streets.
“I’m from the hood,” she said. “The codes of the street are very conservative. If you’re not a hustler, if you don’t know how to hustle, how to make your money, you’re a lamb for the slaughter.”
So yeah, between her simple-minded-ass comments on how she doesn’t “do identity politics,” and her ridiculous insinuation that one needs to be a conservative in order to be a paper chaser who has their block on fire and remains a G until the moment they expire—she’s still definitely on the sunken side of things.
Anyway, bleak Hollywood future aside, Dash said she will never take another media job—especially not for the network she just appears to be realizing is racist AF.
“I’m not a victim of anyone,” she said. “Working for Fox at the time, that was my job. I did my job from the place I was at. Stacey now would never work at Fox, would never work for a news network or be a news contributor.”
As for her political views, Dash said she was done with Trump after the “appalling and stupid” Capitol riot on Jan 6., and that she is now ready to “give the new president a chance.”