Illustration for article titled Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Trump ‘Leaves Us No Choice But to Act’ on Impeachment
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

And so it begins.

On Thursday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that she’s asked that articles of impeachment be drafted against President I Did That Shit. Sure impeachment without removal from office is about as damaging as a public indecency charge from 1994; it’s not going to really do anything but it’s embarrassing if it comes up in a job interview.


But it’s happening and it’s a historic step that shows that the House is most likely going to vote to impeach Trump.

“Sadly, but with confidence and humility, with allegiance to our founders, and a heart full of love for America, today I am asking our chairmen to proceed with articles of impeachment,” Pelosi said in a press conference, Politico reports.


Pelosi didn’t dab, despite a dab being warranted in this case. She also didn’t provide additional details or call the president a messy bitch, but because Trump totally used his position to withhold Congress-approved-aid to Ukraine in exchange for dirt on political rival Joe Biden and his son, Hunter, the articles of impeachment are likely to include abuse of power, obstruction of justice and obstruction of Congress.

“His wrongdoing strikes at the very heart of our Constitution. Our democracy is what is at stake,” Pelosi said during her 10-minute victory lap in which she never once said “It burns don’t it, bitch?”

“The facts are uncontested,” she added. “The president abused his power for his own personal political benefit at the expense of our national security.”

Because President Little Caesar’s Pizza believes himself to be a martyr or some shit, before Pelosi’s announcement, President Papa John tweeted: “If you are going to impeach me, do it now, fast,” Trump added that he’ll get a “fair trial” in the Senate.


“We will have Schiff, the Bidens, Pelosi and many more testify, and will reveal, for the first time, how corrupt our system really is.”


Pelosi claimed that her decision was heavy-hearted, which is total bullshit because she, like the rest of Americans who don’t wipe back to front, know that this is one of the most corrupt regimes in the history of America. But I get it, she’s got to sell it like it’s a sad day for American democracy.

There is no timeline as to when the House would consider the articles of impeachment but rumor has that this will be closed out by the end of the year.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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