Golf cart Gail doing what she does best.
Screenshot: YouTube

A white woman answered the age-old question “Can I kick it?” with a definitieve “no” when she called her cousins (aka the police) on a father who was cheering on his son during a soccer game. The white woman, who appeared out of nowhere riding a golf cart has been dubbed Golf Cart Gail.

Seriously, where did the woman get a golf cart from? Did she ride it from her house to the game? Does she have a specially equipped van that allows her to bring her golf cart with her? Does she ride it around looking for violations of order and decorum. Is she a superhero trying to save up for a vehicle like Wonder Woman’s invisible jet or the Batmobile?

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Also, this happened in Florida, because Florida is where racists go to retire and ride around in golf carts when their legs are too tired from chasing black people around for being black.

According to the New York Post, two women who attended the game in Ponte Vedra, Fla. shot video of the incident and posted it to Facebook showing the woman who is apparently a “field marshal” which explains the golf cart Whitemobile.

“A parent at my son’s soccer game had the police called on him for cheering for his son during the game,” posted Ginger Galore Williams, with the header “Soccer While Black.”

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Apparently the man’s child was frustrated with a call and his dad yelled, “the ref is right!” GG took offense that a free black man was breathing in her space and then had the audacity to shout during a game and called her White people’s customer service line (911) to make sure the man understands the rules of parenting his negro child in a white space.

“[She] decided to spring into action and rapidly approach this parent and remind him that harassment would not be tolerated. He informed her that he was only speaking to his son,” Williams posted.

The dad offered to get the fuck out of there because he didn’t want to be in a space where he was being harassed, and then in typical victimhood fashion, the GG informed him that she was calling the cops “because she no longer felt safe with his threatening behavior,” according to Williams.

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“This man was peacefully leaving his own son’s soccer game to avoid exactly this situation,” wrote Williams. “Shame on you Golfcart Gail for what you did to this man and to the children who had to see this. Can you imagine how afraid his child must have been to see this happening?!”

“At no point was he aggressive,” Maria Morales-Walther who witnessed the encounter told First Coast News. Morales-Walther added that she’d witnessed another parent getting thrown out prior to the incident on video. She said the father told his son to be quiet and that the ref was correct.

In the Facebook video, a deputy who responded to the call can be heard telling Williams that the field marshall can call the police because they are related and that he’s only there to try and defuse the situation.

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Thankfully the deputies didn’t detain the dad, who could have been charged with felonies including: living in Florida as a black man in 2018, breathing, walking on a soccer pitch with non regulation cleats, looking a white woman in the eye, wearing a short-sleeved shirt in a public space, talking to his son without code-switching in a public space, explaining himself to a white woman in a golf cart, existing in a public space where whiteness resides, drinking from a non-colored water fountain, disobeying a white woman, and first-degree reckless blackness.

White people, if you are reading this, please note that we, at The Root, try to make light of these moments but seriously STOP THIS SHIT YOU ARE GOING TO GET SOMEONE KILLED!