I don’t know what is wrong with former Vice President Joe Biden, but I swear he’s becoming the living, breathing version of those Obama BFF memes. Remember those memes, in which a Crazy Joe spouts out silly shit and Obama has to tell him to calm his old ass down?
Anyway, on Thursday, during a stop in Iowa on his “No Malarkey” tour (no seriously, the tour is called the “No Malarkey” because nothing says “I will punch a hole through your chest” like the phrase “no malarkey.” Other names for the tour, including “We Aren’t Fudging Around,” “I’m Frickin’ Serious” and “Kick Trump’s Patootie,” didn’t test as well with members of “We Have Trouble Biden Down,” the loyal group of Biden’s assisted-living supporters who thought the phrasing was too derogatory), Biden got into a pissing match with a man who basically said Uncle Joe’s old ass has no business running for a wayward shopping cart, much less the presidency.
Biden challenged the man to an IQ test or pushup contest after the man questioned Biden about his son and said he was too old to be president. Biden is 77 years old.
From BuzzFeed News:
During a question-and-answer portion of the event in New Hampton, Iowa, the man asked Biden a question about having “sent” his son to work for Ukrainian oil company Burisma. (Hunter Biden had served on the board of the company and recently said doing so was “poor judgment” but that he “did nothing wrong at all.”) And he said that Biden is “too old” to serve as president.
“You’re a damn liar,” Biden responded.
“Look, the reason I’m running is because I’ve been around a long time and I know more than most people know and I can get things done. That’s why I’m running. And you want to check my shape, man, let’s do push-ups together here, man, let’s run, let’s do whatever you want to do, let’s take an IQ test,” Biden said.
The man then claimed that while watching MSNBC he’d heard something linking the Bidens and Ukraine, to which testy Bat Eye Uncle Joe responded, “
Bitch, you lying!”
“You don’t hear that on MSNBC,” Biden said.
“I didn’t say you did anything wrong,” the man said. Then, he told Biden that he doesn’t “have any more backbone than Trump does.” And if that wasn’t enough burn sauce (wypipo language for “...and I oop,”) he added that he wouldn’t be voting for Smoking Joe Biden.
“I know you’re not, man,” Biden said
before pulling his shirt off and challenging the man to a posedown. “You think I thought you were voting for me standing there. You’re too old to vote for me,” I don’t even know what this means, but it sounds provocative.
Biden then asked if any students had questions because they are his true target audience but they were all looking at him crazy AF because this nigga Joe Biden really just challenged a voter to a fucking push-up contest like he’s in the military.
When I say that Iron Joe Biden is the British Knights version to Trump’s Timberlands, I’m not being fast and loose. If I told you that a presidential candidate just challenged a voter to an IQ test, you’d easily say Biden, and tell me if that doesn’t sound like a Trump thing to do? Biden was chosen by then-President Barack Obama because he is all of the things that voters believed Barack wasn’t: He is old and white and had years in Congress and was beloved by almost everyone. But Joe Biden is bat shit crazy. He is as loose a cannon as Trump; remember when he talked about taking Trump behind the gym and beating the hell out of him?
BuzzFeed News notes that at one point, it sounded like Biden called the man “fat” but Biden’s camp claims that he said “facts.”
Biden didn’t think that the back-and-forth was problematic and added that he just wanted to keep it under control and let Iowa know that he’s not for any malarkey!
“I didn’t lose my temper, what I wanted to do was shut this down,” BuzzFeed News reports. “You saw the reaction of all the people here, you saw the response.”
Meanwhile, the people just couldn’t believe that a presidential candidate just challenged a man to a dick-measuring contest during his “No Malarkey” tour.