Sex Isn't Everything in Relationships


Essence's Nathan Hale Williams uses actress Meagan Good's very public "no sex before marriage" approach to start a conversation about how much importance we should really assign to physical intimacy.

The wedding sparked a discussion between one of my best sisterfriends and a brotherfriend regarding the issue of waiting until the wedding night. Surprisingly, my sisterfriend was the most adamant about it not being a good idea to wait. In her, words, "You wouldn’t buy a Mercedes without giving it a test run; sex is too important to a relationship not to know." On the other hand, my brother-friend found it romantic and refreshingly traditional.

We were then joined by another brotherfriend who thought it was completely preposterous that they’d waited that long to have intercourse. In fact, he didn’t believe them. In his mind, he found it impossible for a man in 2012 not to want to have sex with his fiancée prior to getting married. 

At first, I was on the side of giving your intended a test drive or two before saying I do. But, as we talked further, I switched sides. I think Meagan and her new husband might be onto something. I couldn’t help but think of the lyrics of a Mary J. Blige's "Enough Cryin' ": "Cause the sex was good you had my mind and I let you back in every time …
" Sex can be a major distortion in a relationship; both good and bad.


Read Nathan Hale Williams' entire piece at

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues relevant to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff.

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