Sex Doesn't Define Me as a Woman

Generic image (Thinkstock/Getty Images)
Generic image (Thinkstock/Getty Images)

Clutch magazine's Jamilah Lemieux says that she hopes others can adopt a similarly relaxed perspective when it comes to physical intimacy.

… Sex has never been a source of agony for me in the way I've seen it be for some other women. I either wanted to sleep with someone or I didn't; in situations of the former, I weighed the pros and cons and made a choice. Did I always make the "best" choice? Probably not, but I haven't suffered any real consequences or pain as a result of sex, because I always put my safety and happiness first before any man's ego and before concerns about what people may think.

I think that when some folks hear people talk about women and sexual liberation, they get an image of bra-burning feminists walking around with no panties, ready to hop on any and every available wang out there. That's silly. The goal is for women to feel comfortable enough with sex to manage their physical affairs as they see fit; the amount of worry some of us have when it comes to "should I or shouldn't I?" shows us that comfort is quite often a lofty goal.

My attitude about sex hasn't really changed much over the years. While it would have been nice to lose my virginity in some sort of 'rose petals and candles on prom night' fantasy, the emotional detached nature of my first time reflects my overall feelings about getting physical: it can and never will define who I am as a woman …


Read Jamila Lemieux's entire piece at Clutch magazine.

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