Sen. Lindsey Graham Flexed His Tax Returns and Then Played Himself

Illustration for article titled Sen. Lindsey Graham Flexed His Tax Returns and Then Played Himself
Photo: Carolyn Kaster (Getty Images)

South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham is what happens when pantyhose, a wet piece of notebook paper, and rotten cauliflower have an orgy on a dimly lit street corner in Florida, and the pantyhose gets pregnant. And as such he continues to do this thing where he straight plays himself.

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For some reason, Graham, born Horatio Trump, tried to embarrass Democratic challenger Jaime Harrison who, god willing, will take Graham’s senate seat, by releasing years of his tax returns and then calling on Harrison to do the same. Graham even tried to act as if Harrison was scared to release his taxes as if he had something to hide.

Meanwhile, Graham’s adoptive father, not Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) who already has an adult male adoptive son named Nestor, but President Trump, has failed to release his taxes, which he swore he would way back in 2016. Not only has the president not released them, but he’s also fought through the courts to keep his taxes secret, and his stepson Phineas Graham still loves him just the same.

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After only five days, Graham was on Harrison’s ass having the white-dacity to claim, “Where are your tax returns? How’d you [Harrison] make your money?”

Before Graham’s adoption became final, he used to be on the right side of history claiming that he wanted to see the president’s taxes like the rest of us.

“I think you should release your tax returns if you’re running for president in 2020,” Graham said in 2019. “I think everybody should. That’s just my view. It’d be good for the country.”

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But then these niggas started hanging out and playing golf and shit, and you just knew that everything changed.

Graham, who frequently golfs with Trump, hasn’t pushed the issue since.

Critics on Twitter hammered Graham for hypocrisy and cheered Harrison’s response:

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Welp, on Tuesday, Harrison released his taxes and had only one request for Fellaito Trump:

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To Cunninglinguist Graham I say:

Gif: Giphy

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

Jaime Harrison who, god willing, will take Graham’s senate seat”

Amen.