Sean ‘Spicy Facts’ Spicer: ‘Covfefe’ Is a Word to Those in the Know!

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

I love White House Press Secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer. I have ever since he took office, and mostly because he’s a goddamn embarrassment. He’s the mouthpiece for an administration whose members don’t seem to know their ass from their hat, so watching him walk out in front of a pressroom firing squad of reporters that are fully loaded with questions for his dumb ass has become a kind of modern-day bullfight for me. I literally wait for it.


So when the president drunk-tweeted “covfefe,” I couldn’t wait to see what Spicy Facts was going to do with questions surrounding this nonsensical, made-up bullshit; and, in short, Spicy Facts didn’t disappoint. In fact, the rather stoic group of reporters couldn’t hold back their laughter at Spicy’s hilarious answer.

When a reporter asked Spicy if “people should be concerned that the president posted somewhat of an incoherent tweet last night,” Spicy replied, “No,” Raw Story reports.


The reporter then asked Spicer why the misspelled tweet stayed up so long.

“The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant,” Spicy said, and the room broke out in laughter because this is what this administration has become—a damn joke.

It wouldn’t have been difficult for Spicy to say: “That night, the president was hopped up on Coca-Cola and burned steak and it was well past his bedtime. Papa Bannon hadn’t been in to say goodnight, and Trumpy gets cranky when he doesn’t see his papa. He wasn’t supposed to be on his phone past 10 p.m., and he was caught tweeting when Papa smacked it out of his hand and sent him to the top bunk, which he hates.”

Would it have sounded crazy? Hell, yeah, but it would’ve been closer to the truth than acting as if tweeting the word “covfefe” was intentional. But doesn’t this just exemplify exactly what this administration has been doing since taking office—taking facts and spinning them even when there’s nothing to spin? “Covfefe” isn’t a word; it was a mistake, and this administration refuses to admit when it’s made a mistake, so let’s all act as if the emperor isn’t butt-ass naked while we’re at it.

Read more at Raw Story.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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So, how long does it take to recover from this? And I don’t mean recover from the sheer fucking idiocy of covfefe, because holy shit the sooner I never have to hear that fucking word again, the better.

But how long does it take us as a country to get back to, say, 2015, before candidate Trump picked up a megaphone and shouted to every idiot, racist, misogynist, and xenophobe in the country “YOUR BELIEFS ARE LEGITIMATE AND OK AND STEP RIGHT UP AND BUY THIS HERE TONIC THAT GROWS JOBS AND MAKES BROWN PEOPLE DISAPPEAR!” and the GOP just stood behind him, nodding.

And how long before the rest of the world thinks it can trust us again—and I say this fully realizing that it’s not like we were fully trustworthy before. But at least on the surface we put effort into maintaining a veneer of credibility, and we at least tried to make it sound like we did what we did because we were pursuing truth and justice and freedom. Sure, everything we did was in our own best interests and often motivated by greed or power. But at least we made sure that we had a semi-convincing cover story for everything we did, and generally speaking we had people in power who commanded respect (granted, Dubya... but still, at least his staff and cabinet were well-credentialed. Evil, but well-credentialed).

But now we’re not even pretending. Before, we were your genteel southern grandmother, who might absolutely loathe your tattooed, skinny-jean-wearing hipster boyfriend, but she’d at least make friendly conversation and limit her condescension to subtle shade, side-eye, and subtle sighs as she walked out of the room. Now we’re your drunk aunt, just shouting WHATD YOU BRING THE HOMO HERE FOR, WE AINT GOT NOTHIN FOR HIM. AND WHYS HE WEARING YOUR JEANS FOR FUCKS SAKE. OH HEY GIRLY-BOY NICE JEGGINGS CAN YOU SPOT ME FIVER FOR SOME BOONS?