Illustration for article titled Russia Wants Trump in 2020 and the President Is Pissed That Intelligence Officials Keep Saying So
Photo: BRENDAN SMIALOWSK (Getty Images)

It’s Friday, so you know what that means? It means that it’s the last day of the work week and that also means it’s that time again for a Russia report. Ready? Russia is going to punch America’s democracy in the face and steal the election, again, to help Trump win in 2020.

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We’ve known this since Trump was elected in 2016. We’ve known this since countless election security officials have come out and said that Russia is working to steal the election. We have known this since 2017 when then-FBI Director James Comey testified in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee, noting that, “There was evidence of hacking directed at state-level organizations, state-level campaigns” in 2016. Then-special counsel Robert Mueller told us that Russia was “all up in the videos, dancing” in 2019 when he was asked if Russia was still up to it, his reply was flatly: “They’re doing it as we sit here.”

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So we’ve known for some time that Eva Marcille doesn’t want anything to do with ex Kevin McCall, but that hasn’t stopped McCall from being obsessed, Russia is obsessed with US(A). We also know that Trump doesn’t give a shit because it helps him. And we also know that Trump’s depending on a Russian bump to help take the edge off and get him a second term, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to report it. So here it is, again, for the 100th time. Fuck it, I can’t even bring myself to write it, I’ll let CNN tell it.

From CNN:

The intelligence community’s top election security official delivered a briefing to lawmakers last week warning them that the intelligence community believes Russia is already taking steps to interfere in the 2020 election with the goal of helping President Donald Trump win, three sources familiar with the matter tell CNN.

Last week’s briefing, led by election security official Shelby Pierson and first reported by The New York Times, addressed the overall picture of Russia’s efforts, including hacking, weaponizing social media and attacks on election infrastructure, one of the sources said.

The briefers said Russia does favor Trump, but that helping Trump wasn’t the only thing they were trying to do as it was also designed to raise questions about the integrity of the elections process, the source added.

Because Trump spends his evenings taking medication for his irritable bowel syndrome while caressing Russian President Vladimir Putin’s shirtless selfies, he was reportedly pissed that outgoing acting Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire included Russia’s election fuckery in the briefing; apparently Trump’s been trying to keep his relationship with Putin on the low, a White House official told CNN.

A national security official tried to do damage control with CNN, claiming that Pierson may have hyped up the relationship between Putin and Trump, noting, “Can’t two world leaders feed each other fondue without being compromised?”

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Fine, this is what he said about Russia’s love for Trump: “A more reasonable interpretation of the intelligence is not that they have a preference, it’s a step short of that. It’s more that they understand the President is someone they can work with, he’s a dealmaker. But not that they prefer him over (Bernie) Sanders or (Pete) Buttigieg or anyone else. So it may have been mischaracterized by Shelby,” the official said, CNN reports.

It was also being kicked around that Trump was considering perennial fuckboy and worldwide whiner, Rep. Doug Collins (R-Ga.), for the director of National Intelligence, but Collins has already come out to say that he wouldn’t take the job, citing that he’s dumb AF.

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Oh, and Russia’s trying to fuck over our elections again and yeah, so there’s that. Happy Friday!

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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