Rudy Giuliani Is a Terrible Lawyer Who Can't Stop Putting His Foot In His Mouth and It's Actually Great For the President

Photo: Aaron P. Bernstein (Getty Images)

Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump’s personal attorney, is an idiot and that’s a good thing for Trump, because Rudy, who once was married to his cousin that he fully knew was his cousin, helps make the president look less dumb.

Rudy’s job since signing on to work with the president has basically been to go on live TV and make the president look less culpable by being an even bigger fool and he’s been great at his job.

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On Wednesday, during an interview with CNN, cousin-lover, Rudy Giuliani, went on TV and lied about “never” stating that the Trump campaign didn’t collude with Russia.

“I never said there was no collusion between the campaign or between people in the campaign,” Giuliani told CNN’s Chris Cuomo.

“I have not,” Giuliani said in doubling-down on his first remark. “I said the president of the United States. There is not a single bit of evidence the president of the United States committed the only crime you could commit here, conspired with the Russians to hack the DNC.”

Now that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian collusion is coming to a close, the company line has switched from “there was no collusion” to: “I know that the president didn’t collude!”

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On Thursday, in an interview with NBC News, Giuliani, who once laid naked next to his birth cousin in their marital bed, claimed that he hasn’t flip-flopped on the issue.

“No,” he said, when asked if he acknowledged that his comments Wednesday night was something a flip-flopper might’ve said. “If it was, it was subconscious.”

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“I represent the president. I can speak only to the president, not the campaign. The president was not involved in, nor does the president have any knowledge of collusion with the Russians or anyone else. I have no knowledge that anyone on the campaign colluded, but obviously I cannot speak for everyone on the campaign,” he added.

Giuliani is messy AF and that’s actually working for Trump. He’s the idiot whose taking all the bullets for the true idiot in the Oval Office. In July, Giuliani, who used to look his cousin in the face before tongue-kissing her during their marriage, claimed “no collusion” and then added: “collusion is not a crime.”

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From CNN:

Giuliani said at the time that no one in ”the upper levels of the Trump campaign“ colluded with Russia, adding in a Fox News interview that he had “no reason to believe anybody else did” either.

His latest comments sounded much different than Trump’s, who has denied that any collusion between his campaign and Russia took place.

“There was nobody to collude with,” Trump said at a press conference alongside Vladimir Putin last summer. “There was no collusion with the campaign.”

In a tweet from last February, Trump said his campaign “did nothing wrong — no collusion!”

And prior to his former national security adviser Michael Flynn’s sentencing hearing last month, Trump tweeted that it was going to be “interesting to see what he has to say, despite tremendous pressure being put on him, about Russian Collusion in our great and, obviously, highly successful political campaign.”

“There was no collusion!” he added.

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) took to Twitter to offer a timeline for Giuliani’s “collusion evolution.”

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While it may seem that Giuliani is consistently stepping in it, that’s the way the Trump administration would have it. In the past week, we learned:

  • The FBI thought the president was a Russian spy;
  • Planes may fall out of the sky because air-traffic controllers aren’t being paid during the government shutdown;
  • The president thinks Filet o’ Fish is an impressive meal;
  • Michael Cohen rigged polls at the behest of Trump;
  • Four Americans were killed by Islamic State actors in Syria, the country Trump claimed we had defeated ISIS;

But isn’t that old, cousin-loving Rudy dude funny? I can barely stop laughing.

Giuliani’s job is to take bullets for the president and so far he’s doing a great job.

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.