New York is a liberal state, and it has been for quite some time. I’m not including all the racist parts upstate where black people don’t travel—only the five boroughs of New York City and other parts that are accessible by subway. So on the surface, it makes sense that Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump’s ally and legal adviser, was at a Yankee home game and was booed after the announcer noted that the former mayor was in attendance to celebrate his 74th birthday. Giuliani has built his house on “fuck-that-guy island,” so booing him is a visceral response.
But what if Giuliani has had a change of heart? I know what many of you are thinking: Giuliani doesn’t have a heart. Fine. But what if he found the ancient rock dust where his heart used to be and decided that he wanted to change? Think about it: Since joining Trump’s ShamWow presidency, he’s really been doing the work of the movement.
Shortly after he was announced as a member of Trump’s legal team, it was Giuliani who not only claimed in an interview that Trump knew about the payoff to porn actress Stormy Daniels—a claim that Trump vehemently denied until Giuliani went on TV bumping his gums—but also said exactly how the payoff was done.
Giuliani told Fox News’ Sean Hannity that money used to pay off Daniels was “not campaign money.”
“Sorry, I’m giving you a fact now that you don’t know,” Giuliani said, according to Fortune. “It’s not campaign money. No campaign-finance violation.
“They funneled through a law firm, and the president repaid it,” he said.
“The agreement with Michael Cohen, as far as I know, is a long-standing agreement that Michael Cohen takes care of situations like this, then gets paid for them sometimes,” Giuliani said, Fortune reported.
When asked directly whether Cohen made payments to other women, he continued: “I have no knowledge of that, but I would think if it was necessary, yes. He made payments for the president or he’s conducted business for the president, which means he had legal fees, monies laid out and expenditures.”
Jigga what? Jigga who?
At first I thought that Giuliani was a stooge for the Trump administration who was carefully choosing when and if to let the cat out of the bag, but now I am convinced that Giuliani has been haunted by the Ghost of Christmas Past and wants to make right with the world before he leaves the earth.
On Sunday, Giuliani told Dana Bash on CNN’s State of the Union that the president’s insistence that former President Barack Obama had someone spying on his camp during his run to the White House (which the Trump administration has dubbed “spy-gate”) is really just a plot to help erode public confidence.
Citing a CNN poll that showed a 15 percent drop in the number of Republicans who wanted the president to testify in the investigation of collusion with Russia in the 2016 election, Bash asked whether Giuliani and Trump have “a very specific, very political strategy to undermine this investigation.”
Giuliani first noted that spy-gate was not a strategy to undermine special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation. But bash pressed him on it, saying that was exactly what spy-gate was. She added that because investigators and the special counsel cannot talk about their findings, it’s created an imbalance that works in the president’s favor, since Giuliani, Trump and his allies are “very free” to speak about it.
Giuliani didn’t deny that he was taking advantage of this asymmetry. Instead, he claimed that “they [Mueller’s team] are giving us the material to do it.”
“Of course, we have to do it in defending the president. We are defending, to a large extent, remember, Dana, we are defending here, it is for public opinion, because eventually the decision here is going to be impeach or not impeach.”
“Members of Congress, Democrat and Republican, are going to be informed a lot by their constituents,” Giuliani continued. “So, our jury is the American—as it should be—is the American people.”
And there you have it, folks: Che Giuliani is working for the people! He just vaguely admitted that all of this—this “spy-gate” crap and all the other made-up fantasies that Trump crafts early in the morning while recklessly tweeting in the presidential bathroom—is just a PR push to sway favor with the public. Maybe the New York liberals should reserve their booing for someone who deserves it.
Nah, it’s still fuck Giuliani forever.