Roy Moore Has Gone Full AppleCare Lady and Filed a Lawsuit to Block Alabama Special-Election Results

Republican senatorial candidate Roy Moore rides his horse after casting his vote at the polling location set up in the Fire Department on Dec. 12, 2017, in Gallant, Ala. (Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Police need to make a wellness run to Roy Moore’s home to make sure he’s OK, because he isn’t handling this breakup well at all. Some weeks ago, black women in Alabama stormed on the voting booths like:


And cast their vote for Doug Jones. The Democrat won the special election for one of Alabama’s Senate seats—it happened—and now his opponent, the accused pedophile, is having a hard time accepting that black women didn’t want him in office. So on Wednesday, the bitter-beer-face Moore filed a lawsuit to delay the special-election results until a “thorough” investigation of “potential election fraud” is conducted.

“Three national Election Integrity experts reached the same independent conclusion: ‘with a reasonable degree of statistical and mathematical certainty ... election fraud occurred,’” the court filing shared on Moore’s campaign Facebook page alleges, ABC News reports.

Moore filed his complaint while listening to this:

The lawsuit comes just hours before a state canvassing board was scheduled to meet to declare Jones the winner.


“This is not a Republican or Democrat issue as election integrity should matter to everyone,” Moore wrote, calling on Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill to delay certification.

We all know that this is coded language for, “I lost, and election integrity only matters when a Republican loses!”


Here is video footage of Moore filing his lawsuit:

“It is not going to delay certification and Doug Jones will be certified Thursday at 1 p.m.” Merrill said, ABC News reports.


Merrill added that he’s found no evidence of voter fraud or irregularities and really wanted to say that there wasn’t any voter fraud or irregularities but Moore is having a difficult time accepting that negra females handed him his ass.

“This desperate attempt by Roy Moore to subvert the will of the people will not succeed,” Sam Coleman, a spokesperson for Jones, told ABC News. “The election is over; it’s time to move on.”


For the record, Moore still hasn’t conceded the race and he rode to the voting booth on a horse.

A. Fucking. Horse.

Read more at ABC News.

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.