Over the holiday, a lively debate got started in our Slack chat over the proper way to make deviled eggs.

Actually, let me tell y’all what the fuck happened. Genetta Adams, our managing editor, posted a picture of some deviled eggs that she had just made, and at first we were all like, “Mmm, deviled eggs,” but then Yesha Callahan, our deputy managing editor, noticed something crazy and asked the important question: “Where the hell is the relish?!”

Immediately, Genetta and Corey Townsend, our weekend social media editor, got hella defensive.

“Relish doesn’t go in deviled eggs,” they said, sounding ridiculous as fuck.

(Corey will basically co-sign anything ridiculous. He and I agree on a few basic things: Cardi B is our new president, VSB’s Panama Jackson has trash-ass music opinions and Yesha is the resident Mean Girl on staff. Other than that? Nah.)


“Yes, you do,” Yesha and I retorted, feeling indignant as hell.

We went back and forth for a few minutes, and then we decided to create a Twitter poll and ask our readers and followers to weigh in. We made a little wager, and the losing team would have to write up a post describing what happened and letting our readers know the outcome of the poll.


As a member of Team Relish, I have to say it: I’m disappointed in all y’all black asses.

Who taught you how to make deviled eggs, and why are you not putting relish in them? Do you hate yourselves?

I use a little dill pickle relish myself, but I know others use sweet-pickle relish; it’s a matter of taste—good taste at that.


So here I am, writing this post in which I am side-eyeing all of y’all over the lack of relish in your deviled eggs.

Do better. You should want better for yourselves.

People who don’t put relish in their deviled eggs probably also put sugar in their grits.


Either way, you’re terrorists, and I’m reporting all y’all asses to Homeland Security posthaste.

Good day, heathens.