Maaaaan, to be white and a terrorist.
Jacob Chansley, the QAnon Moron...I mean, Shaman, was moved to a Virginia jail Thursday after a federal judge ordered corrections officials to provide him with organic food. I know some of you are confused as to why legal officials in Americaβwho would likely tell Muslim terrorists who stormed the Capitol building in an attempt to overthrow the government that theyβre lucky theyβre not being waterboarded for breakfastβwould provide such accommodations to an alleged insurrectionist. All I can say is that America is still America.
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The Associated Press reports that Chansley was transferred to the Alexandria Detention Center after his attorney complained that he had gone nine days without eating and had lost 20 pounds since being transferred from Arizona to Washington, D.C. Albert Watkins, Chansleyβs attorney, argued that his client considers organic food to be part of his βshamanic belief system and way of lifeβ and said that βnon-organic food, which contains unnatural chemicals, would act as an βobject intrusionβ onto his body and cause serious illness if he were to eat it.β
One would think that if maintaining such a restrictive diet was so vital to Bravefartβs survival, he wouldnβt have put himself in a position to go to jail where grass-fed cattle burgers and fertilizer-flavored Fruit Roll-ups are not likely to be readily available.
But nah, thatβs negro criminal logic. Itβs different when youβre white...and blue...and fur-covered with fucking horns sticking out of your weird-ass head.
Attorneys for the D.C. Jail where Chansley was being held βsaid they could find no requirement for organic food in shamanism,β according to the St. Lois Post-Dispatch. But donβt worry, Iβm sure thatβs not a slap in the face to the millions of Muslim inmates who have been denied halal food that is actually consistent with their religious diets because, apparently, whether or not Muslim prisoners have a constitutional right to those accommodations has been a whole-ass controversy for years.
Maybe this is the reason why that one white lady who participated in the Jan. 6 Caucasity Crusades and proudly said sheβd βdo it againβ was bold enough to ask a judge if she could take a vacation in Mexico.
Itβs almost as if these people figured their whiteness would shield them from the harshness of the consequences of their actions, and America keeps vindicating that sense of entitlement by honoring their privileged-ass requests.
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