An alt-right demonstrator is covered in mayonnaise after being chased by a group of counter-protesters during an alt-right rally on August 17, 2019 in Portland, Oregon. Anti-fascism demonstrators gathered to counter-protest a rally held by far-right, extremist groups.
Photo: Stephanie Keith (Getty Images)

The far-right Proud Boys, the wandering group of mostly white men who you can spot wearing their “PB” branded polos, vow to continue their inbred form of American terrorism every month in Portland, Ore., after what they claimed was a successful rally this weekend, USA Today reports.

The mayonnaise-smothered clan—which is totally tied to white nationalism, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center—would, of course, consider its “End Domestic Terrorism” rally a success, considering the white nationalist-in-chief took to Twitter to condemn the anti-fascist counterprotesters, aka “Antifa,” which is basically made up of all kinds of people (mostly a bunch of white men, but they are the good guys. Think really skinny vegan X-Men).

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From USA Today:

Portland Police Lieutenant Tina Jones said 1,200 people representing both sides took to downtown streets and that least 13 arrests were made. Authorities were mostly able to keep the conflicting groups apart through a series of protests and counterprotests lasting about nine hours.

Six people suffered minor injuries, Jones said.

“We know there is the possibility that assaults or other crimes occurred outside of the view of officers,” police said in a statement. “Officers and detectives will be spending the hours and days ahead writing reports, conducting interviews and pursuing investigations.”

Penis Ballerina organizer Joe Biggs claimed that his group wanted national attention, as they are stunt dummies who will do anything for the ’gram.

Phlegm Backwash’s biggest supporter, Trump, not only gave them national shine but his bitch ass took to Twitter to point out that Portland was “being watched very closely” and that his administration was considering naming the skinny vegans a terror group, something usually reserved for foreign organizations, USA Today reports.

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“Look at President Trump’s Twitter,” Biggs said in a tweet that went viral, USA Today reports. “He talked about Portland, said he’s watching [A]ntifa. That’s all we wanted. We wanted national attention, and we got it. Mission success.”

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The president’s favorite house slippers, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), also pitched this idea last month in a Senate resolution he c0-sponsored, which would designate Antifa and groups like them as domestic terrorist organizations.

Pubic Buttcheeks chairman Enrique Tarrio promised to bring his special brand of milk-saturated protest to Portland until the city is freed from the vegan X-Men’s “grip.”

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