Aww snap…
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Rihanna reportedly took a peek at Chris Brown’s PDA and set off the course of events we’ve been reading about for the last few weeks.  With all the different reports, I’m all kinds of conflicted and disgusted overall by the Chrianna incident, but one thing I’m sure of: if you love someone, you don’t read their text messages. No matter what, that’s a violation, coming and going. Because nothing good ever came of reading a text message out of context, opening other folk’s email or eavesdropping on half a conversation. Not one thing.


If you are in a relationship built on trust then you leave their phone alone. I have heard of quite a few altercations and crack-ups started by cell-phones snooping. I’ve been a situation where a woman thought it was OK to read my email, text messages and monitor my phone calls. That situation led to friends getting angry calls and emails, and there is nothing more embarrassing than having to explain why you are in a relationship with someone who monitors you like a child. I have also seen folks caught out there based on text-message evidence. But I don't think that matters — you have to respect yourself and the one you love enough to give them thier privacy, and I'll tell you why.

The reason you don’t snoop is because, no matter what, no matter how virtuous your lover may be, you will be able to find something to make you angry and/or suspicious. I promise you. Anything, seasoned with jealously and insecurity, can be made into an issue. If you are in a relationship where you have to have to crack email codes, GPS monitor them or inspect their gadget, then you are playing yourself.  You need leave that person alone and open an detective agency. If you don’t trust your people, then leave. Nothing will get you caught up in some talk show mess quicker than going through someone's cellphone.

How many of us have seen text-message/voice-mail drama unfold first-hand? What's worse: doing dirt or invading your peoples privacy looking for dirt?

Single Father, Author, Screenwriter, Award-Winning Journalist, NPR Moderator, Lecturer and College Professor. Habitual Line-Stepper