Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

The president of the United States is obsessed with himself. So much so that around the time that he should have been counting enflamed winged devil horses, he was up on Twitter railing about CNN’s treatment of his presidency.

Initially Trump tweeted:

and then he deleted that and posted this:

This was clearly written by the president who randomly capitalized “bombs” because he believes that if he randomly capitalizes things it gives it presidential importance.

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There are so many questions here, the first of which is, what in the fuck is the president doing up at 3 a.m.? Also, why wasn’t the president’s phone locked away in the “stuff the president can’t have unless someone over 21 is around him” safe? We’ve talked about the president’s iPad, phone, and computer being locked up right after he drinks his warm baby goat blood and has his Russian prostitute urine bath. I blame the president’s aides for this mishap. Thirdly, why is the president watching CNN? He claims to hate the station, believes that their ratings are trash (which they are not) and constantly calls them fake news, so why the hell is up at 3 a.m. watching the station?

Seems like someone is a little obsessed with himself and that obsession didn’t stop once he took his orange ass to bed; around 10 a.m. EDT his ass was back up tweeting about his Twitter followers.

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The president currently has 55.3 million followers and he believes it could be many more if Twitter would stop trying to stop his shine and included Russian bots in his Twitter numbers.

The president of the United States is basically a Fashion Nova model who preaches about the anti-bloating effects of flat-tummy tea and is obsessed with how his image is being projected and why his Twitter numbers are dwindling.

Basically, the president of the United States is a Kardashian.