President Trump Is Rage-Tweeting and Big Mad That Robert Mueller Is About to Be All Up in His Tweets

Illustration for article titled President Trump Is Rage-Tweeting and Big Mad That Robert Mueller Is About to Be All Up in His Tweets
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It’s Friday, so you know that means that the president of people who buy hotdogs at gas stations is rage-tweeting again. First, he targeted his former lawyer and personal fixer Michael Cohen’s claims that he knew of the 2016 meeting his dumb son, Donald Jr., aka Not-Ivanka, had with a Russian operative who promised dirt on rival Hillary Clinton.


Then he took aim at the news that special counsel Robert Mueller may be looking into Trump’s tweets “as part of a wide-ranging investigation into whether Trump obstructed justice by intimidating witnesses,” CNBC reports.

And finally, he congratulated his fellow overseer Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones for his comments that put his negro players back in line.


I know that this is actually a congratulatory tweet but it’s based in rage and fear of black protest, so I felt it should be included. Read Jones’ words carefully three times fast and sit back and watch as a satchel filled with cotton magically appears amongst your back. Your shoulders will automatically hunch over and every time you go to speak, your words come out as negro spirituals. Seriously, is that not the most “Shut up, niggras and play!” shit you’ve ever read?

Don’t get caught up in the president’s rage-filled banter. Whenever he does this, it’s proof that the outside world is getting to him. He’s not crafty enough not to respond. He wears his emotions on his China-made shirts and whenever the investigation gets too close or a Democratic senator’s words start to pierce the place where his heart should be, he rage-tweets. We all know this.


Cohen is as much of a snake as the president, but he’s a snake who could potentially bring down the president. So in this case, by default, he’s become the good snake—America’s snake! So I’m rooting for Cohen and all the stories he wants to tell us. I’m here for them. I will listen to them all and report them if for no other reason that it gets under Trump’s skin.

Which is the same way I feel about the Mueller investigation. I don’t care if this investigation goes on for 100 years. As long as it upsets the president then I’m here for it. I want Mueller to take his time with this investigation not because I want him to get it right (all of us with opposable thumbs know that the Trump administration colluded with Russia.) I want him to continue to agitate the shit out of the president.


Trump’s rage tweets are a good thing, it means that the news is getting to him. For the TL;DR crowd, the story is this: Trump is rage-tweeting, which means the good guys are winning.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



How could an investigator be looking at these totally public comments I made that contradict me??? That's not fairrrrrrrr!