Think about this: When President Donald Trump was a private citizen, he hated President Barack Obama so much that he regularly antagonized him on Twitter. In fact, one could argue that when Trump wasn’t eating KFC or killing a puppy with his tiny fingers, it was his part-time job to troll Obama on social media.
At one point, the now president of the small states with major size envy (looking at you, South Carolina) not only tweeted that he knew that Obama was a bad student but demanded that the president release his school records.
No, President Trump, you aren’t who you pretend to be. Recently, the smarts of the president of DevilVomit, Fla., have been called into question. In fact, they’ve been called into question so much that the president of FatTires, Miss., has had to come out to say, “I’m really smart!” Everyone knows that once you start stating how smart you are, then you are probably really stupid.
So it turns out that the president of GodsBurp, Ga., likes to allow everyone to believe that he got an MBA from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, when, in fact, he only went to Wharton undergrad.
I know that feels like we’re splitting hairs, but saying that you got an MBA from Wharton is like saying you got prime ribs from a whole-animal meat butcher, while saying that you went to Wharton for undergrad is like saying that you got a box of 40 ribs off a parolee’s meat truck. Trump has been floating this Wharton story for years, but it turns out that the real story, much like every Trump story, involves a family hookup and a whole bunch of lying.
During his run for the White House, Trump touted his top-tier education.
“I went to the Wharton School of Finance, the toughest place to get into. I was a great student,” he has said. He’s also claimed that Wharton was “super-genius stuff,” and when called on his vulgarity during his presidential campaign, he actually noted: “Who would say that? I went to the Wharton School of Finance!”
Because Wharton is most famously known for its highly competitive graduate program, it was assumed that Trump, a businessman who inherited the majority of his wealth, was referring to said program. Well, it turns out that Trump used a connection that his brother Freddy had in the admissions office to transfer from Fordham University to Wharton and holds a Bachelor of Science degree in economics from Wharton.
So there you have it: Trump is spoiled meat off a meat truck that pretends to be high-priced fillet. He’s the guy at the gym who comes onto the basketball court wearing all the latest Under Armour gear, only to talk about how good he used to be when he was younger. He’s the guy who wishes he were living the life that he’s selling, and he’s an idiot who wants everyone to believe that he’s a “very stable genius.” It’s clear to many of us that this emperor is ass-naked, but I’m always surprised by those who so willfully believe that this charlatan is anything but a con man.
(And yes, I’m looking at you, the 53 percent of white women who voted against their self-interests to elect this spoiled-meat-on-a-truck salesman.)