Illustration for article titled President Pump-Fake Throws Another Twitter Tantrum, Threatens to Veto Spending Bill, and No One Believes Him
Photo: Ron Sachs (Getty Images)

On Friday, President Donald Trump, who this week alone has claimed that he would beat the daylights out of former Vice President Joe Biden, explained why he made a congratulatory call to a Russian gangster posing as a president, and typed “witch hunt” in all caps, has again gone to Twitter to claim that he’s going to veto the spending bill that Congress passed this week.


The president is reportedly pissed that the new $1.3 trillion spending bill doesn’t fully fund his dumb-ass wall that no one wants. The president has been dangling the lives of some 800,000 beneficiaries of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program as bait to receive full funding for the wall to nowhere that the president swore would be paid for by Mexico.


Although Congress passed the massive spending bill to keep the government running just after midnight Friday, Trump is claiming that his reasoning for vetoing the bill would be because it doesn’t address DACA concerns, but that’s bullshit. The president was hoping that this spending bill would include the full $24 billion needed to fund the dumb-ass wall that no one wants and instead got $1.6 billion, a paltry sum by comparison that would barely be enough to put the wall on layaway at Marshalls.

The funniest part of all of this is that because Trump has countless times proved himself to be President Cry Wolf von Type-a-Lot, no one believes him. His staff doesn’t believe him, Republicans don’t believe him and Democrats don’t believe him.

One unnamed staff member told CNN that the old man in the Oval Office was just throwing himself around.


“He doesn’t like it,” the official said of the bill and added that the president was “venting” more than seriously considering a veto, the news site reports.

White House Legislative Affairs Director Marc Short wasn’t even concerned: “I think we’ll be OK,” he told CNN.


Mick Mulvaney, director of the Office of Management and Budget, told reporters on Thursday that the bill “funds his [Trump’s] priorities.”

“Let’s cut right to the chase: Is the president going to sign the bill? The answer is yes,” he said.


“Is it perfect? No,” Mulvaney added. “Is it exactly what we asked for in the budget? No. Were we ever going to get that? No. That is not how the process works.”

House Speaker Paul Ryan, who spoke with President Whispers von Softskull, said Thursday that Trump was on board with the funding in the bill for the border.


Vice President Mike Pence also said on Thursday to a supportive crowd in New Hampshire, “With $1.6 billion included in the spending bill that arrives on President Trump’s desk tomorrow, we’re going to start to build that wall.”

The president’s hollow threat even got some Democrats to dare him not to sign the bill.


“Let’s not forget that you ended DACA and torpedoed every possible bipartisan fix. This is on you,” Rep. Tim Ryan of Ohio said on Twitter, according to CNN.

Wisconsin Rep. Mark Pocan accused Trump of making a “loser’s bluff.”

“Go ahead and veto the omnibus over DACA. We dare you,” Pocan said on Twitter, CNN reports. “Everyone knows you’re the reason DACA recipients are abandoned.”


Clearly, no one is worried about the president’s KFC-grease-stained tiny fingers typing away on Twitter about what he’s going to do. I think at this point they all know the president is full of shit. Twitter is usually his place to try to appease his constituents by talking tough, but in the end, he’s going to sign this bill because it’s the best deal he can make right now and he knows that—doesn’t he?

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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