I’ve seen a lot of white things in my life.
I once watched a man tongue-kiss his dog as if it were prom night. Just the other day, I witnessed a recipe for green macaroni and cheese. Once, while standing in line to buy a gift at Macy’s, I’m pretty sure I listened to an entire Taylor Swift song. (I can’t be sure. I’ve blocked it out.)
But the “I was told by AppleCare”-like outrage at comedian Michelle Wolf’s brutal takedown of the professional liars known as Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Donald Trump following Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner might be one of the top 10 moments of white tears I’ve ever seen.
The American media has joined President Donald Trump in declaring that it is OK to call Mexicans “rapists”; to refer to African Americans as unemployed thugs; to paint Muslims as terrorists; and to mock disabled journalists and praise white supremacists for their diligence in protecting monuments—but insulting white women is totally uncalled for.
Trump took a break from his rigorous routine of golfing at Mar-a-Lago down in Florida and downing buckets of KFC with Diet Coke to tweet his disdain for the insults at the annual dinner sponsored by the White House Correspondents’ Association:
“You guys have to stop putting Kellyanne on your shows,” Wolf said of White House adviser Conway. “If you don’t give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie. It’s like that old saying: If a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree? I’m not suggesting she gets hurt. Just stuck.”
On Ivanka Trump, Wolf said: “She was supposed to be an advocate for women. But it turns out, she’s about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons.”
After the dinner, the president of the WHCA, Margaret Talev, issued a statement decrying Wolf’s set as not being “in the spirit” of the organization’s mission:
But it is not just the White House and the Correspondents’ Association; it is also the rank-and-file members of the press who were upset about the characterization of Sarah Huckabee Sanders as “like an Uncle Tom but for white women who disappoint other white women.”
CNN’s Chris Cilizza called Wolf’s comments an act of “bullying.” MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski, who Trump once called “dumb as a rock” while revealing her alleged plastic surgery, also went on Twitter to take issue with the “attack.”
Apparently, white women are much too frail to take this kind of punishment. The outrage was much less vociferous when Fox News ran a graphic calling Michelle Obama Barack Obama’s “baby mama.”
If the media and the press are outraged by the bullying of Sanders and Conway, why did they sit silently in the room when Trump administration officials bullied White House correspondent April Ryan? Why haven’t they taken Sanders to task for lying about the president’s “shithole countries” remarks?
Wolf’s roasting of Orange Julius and the Tangerine Trumpettes pales in comparison with Trump’s disparaging remarks about Rep. Maxine Waters having a “low IQ”; former President Barack Obama’s birth certificate; the Miss Universe contestant he referred to as “Miss Housekeeping”; the mothers of NFL players he called “bitches”; or when Sanders called Rep. Fredericka Wilson “all hat, no cattle.”
Apparently these incidents were not as egregious as the attacks on the unassailable character of “Alternative Facts” Conway and Succubus Sanders.
Fuck those Beckys.
Not because they are white women, but because they bully the American people every day with a barrage of lies, insults and blatant racism. Yet when the tables are turned, they want to call foul.
Going to a dinner that traditionally roasts the president and his administration and being outraged when you are the subject of the roast is the ultimate definition of privilege. They are the ultimate snowflakes.
It’s one of the whitest things I’ve ever seen.