President Bankruptcy Batista Thinks Obama Likes Him; Someone Remove This Lie From His Mind, Stat

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Like anything else that involves communication, your president’s recent interview with fellow belligerent white man Bill O’Reilly was a clusterfuck. Most of the fallout from it, though, focused on Bankruptcy Batista taking issue with O’Reilly’s categorization of Russian President Vladimir Putin as a “killer.”

“There are a lot of killers,” 45 shot back. “We’ve got a lot of killers. What do you think, our country’s so innocent?”

When your new boyfriend is an authoritarian who may or may not have video of you being pissed on in a hotel, it’s unsurprising to see that you continue to serve as the Bonnie to his Clyde, the Bell Biv to his DeVoe and the eager bottom to his aggressive top. That’s what love is. Well, that’s also blackmail, but same difference, in this instance. As frustrating as it was to hear him say that, you’re not going to get my black self to rally too hard for the country that just allowed Attorney General Segregation Now, Segregation Forever to happen.


So while critics were correct in assailing a false equivalence slow cooking in a Crock-Pot of asininity and outlandishness, there was another declaration made by 45 that still slips and slides up and down my last nerve. It is a sentiment that 45 has hinted at before but never flat out said until now.

As he and O’Reilly discussed American Horror Story: The 2016 Presidential Election, 45 had the honeysuckle-colored gall to assert that former President Obama actually likes his bigoted ass. Of Obama, 45 explained to O’Reilly, “It’s a very strange phenomena. We get along. I don’t know if he’ll admit this, but he likes me, I like him.”

Any sensible soul has long been aware that 45 is too many fallen fries from a full order, too much ice for a satisfying full cup of strawberry soda and one nugget short of a worthwhile late-night drive-thru run. Still, how much is this man out of his rabbit-ass mind to think that Barry fucks with him? How could he possibly believe that the man against whom he lodged a dehumanizing, racist-conspiracy-theory-riddled campaign finds him anything other than a village idiot who’s lucky that bigotry and white mediocrity can always take you far in America?

When asked what convinced him that Obama genuinely liked him, 45 responded, “I can feel it.”


Bankruptcy Batista says he can feel it, y’all. Total, help me sing. Total, help me sing.

He continued:

We had a rough campaign. He was fighting better for Hillary then she did. He was vicious during the campaign towards me and I was vicious towards him. We said horrible things about each other. And then we hop into the car and we drive down Pennsylvania Avenue together and we don’t even talk about it. Politics is amazing.


See, 45 is acting like those co-workers who don’t understand that when their colleagues—namely, the black ones who don’t really fool with them like that—are being cordial, they’re simply being professional. In the case of Obama treating his successor with the dignity he doesn’t deserve, that speaks to Obama’s sense of duty. That is not the same thing as sincere affinity for a basket case who ought to be relegated to social media and reality television.

During the campaign trail, Obama repeatedly laid into that man over his bad business dealings, divisive rhetoric and terrible character. Those feelings didn’t suddenly dissipate after Obama was compelled by duty to engage him. Of course, 45 doesn’t know much of anything, much less about matters related to basic social skills.


In the article “For Donald Trump, Friends in Few Places,” Alan Feuer explored 45’s lack of friendship in the “failing” New York Times. “He doesn’t really have a lot of friends,” Billy Procida, a financier from New Jersey who served for years as one of Trump’s top lieutenants, was quoted as saying. “Pretty much all he does is work and play golf.”

And, you know, bash people who don’t align with his warped view about a given topic or affect his frail ego.


I don’t know what will happen with this country. I’m not sure if a global war won’t start over tweet beef. It’s not for certain that 45 will ever be impeached despite mounting evidence practically begging for it.

Right now, nothing is certain. That is, minus one thing: Barack Hussein Obama does not like this punk-ass man. Obama may love civility, but there is no reason this clownish president deserves to walk around this earth thinking that Obama likes him. Can everyone come together and let this man know that if he were drowning, Obama would probably go ask someone to whip up some grits for this fat fish that’s about to fry?

If there is some White House employee reading this, sobbing under his or her desk about the decision he or she made, do the world a favor: Remind 45 of this clip. Let him know that Obama does not like him deep down; he doesn’t like him at all. Then remind him that former first lady Michelle Obama likely still wants to knock his wig off.

Michael Arceneaux is the author of "I Can't Date Jesus," which will be released July 24, 2018 by Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, but go ahead and pre-order it now.

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I never realized what actual narcissism and megalomania looked like before now. Hot damn, that’s a heaping load of denial. Just wait till President Bannon hears about this!

ETA: for the first time in my life, I’ve repeatedly lost my shit thinking about the transition: Pres. Obama having the class to not only do his duty during the transition, but after seeing how completely fucked the country was, staying LONGER and putting more time in with a man who has been so detestable towards him.