Potential Martin Shkreli Jurors Want the Judge to Know ‘Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing ta Fuck Wit’

Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Prospective jurors in the Martin Shkreli trial have pretty much proved that they can’t be impartial about the money-hungry Pharma-bro, who’s facing up to 45 years in prison for fraud. Sure, a lot of potential jurors are pissed that Shkreli raised the price of an HIV drug almost 5,000 percent, but they have another bone to pick with the dude.


How dare Shkreli besmirch the good name of the Wu-Tang Clan? Harpers posted the jury-selection interviews, and several people felt they couldn’t be partial to Shkreli because he:

1. Disrespected Wu-Tang:

The Court: All right. I’m going to excuse you. Juror Number 59, come on up.

Juror No. 59: Your Honor, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because —

The Court: Okay. Is that your attitude toward anyone charged with a crime who has not been proven guilty?

Juror No. 59: It’s my attitude toward his entire demeanor, what he has done to people.

The Court: All right. We are going to excuse you, sir.

Juror No. 59: And he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.

2. Kept Wu-Tang’s music from the masses, purchasing an album for $1 million:

The Court: Well, I’m going to excuse you. Juror Number 144, tell us what you have heard.

Juror No. 144: I heard through the news of how the defendant changed the price of a pill by up-selling it. I heard he bought an album from the Wu-Tang Clan for a million dollars.

The Court: The question is, have you heard anything that would affect your ability to decide this case with an open mind. Can you do that?

Juror No. 144: I don’t think I can because he kind of looks like a dick.

Basically, it’s going to be hard for a judge to find some jurors who don’t think Shkreli isn’t a jerk who deserves all 45 of those years.



He shoulda gone to Wu Tang Financial.