Schlubby-Simple later attacked the officers who came to arrest her, biting one officer, potentially turning the policeman into a vampire. Luckily, the officer tested negative for salmonella mayonnaise poisoning. After video of the incident went viral, the SS officer lost her day job at a skin care company.

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The 38-year-old pled guilty to third-degree assault and battery, which is a misdemeanor, The State reports. The two counts of assaulting a police officer while resisting arrest were dismissed, according to Stumpy-Sinful’s lawyer.

In spite of Stinky-Sentry’s absence, the Reminisce neighborhood pool has gone 8,028 days without a roving negro gang murder.

Bless up.