Politics
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12 Russians Indict for Meddling in 2016 Election and President Trump Still Doesn't Care
On Friday, just days before President Trump is set to meet one-on-one with Russian President Vladimir Putin, the Justice Department announced that a dozen Russian military officials have been indicted for their role in an effort to sabotage the 2016 presidential election. And by sabotage, I mean infiltrating emails and computers used by Democrats to…
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Stormy Daniels Arrested for Doing Stripper Things as a Stripper Inside a Strip Club
President Trump’s non-Russian side bae, Stormy Daniels, was arrested and charged with three misdemeanors for reportedly touching guests who turned out to be undercover officers, who either believed they were at a Hot Shoppes buffet and didn’t understand why a naked woman was dancing or don’t know how to appreciate great customer service at a…
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Trump's Ex- Campaign Chairman Paulie 'Walnuts' Manafort Claims He's Treated Like 'VIP' in Jail
Court papers released Wednesday show that President Trump’s former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, aka Paulie Walnuts—as he’s known in the mafia…erm, White House … fine, no one calls him that, but Paulie Walnuts is living like a boss in jail. That’s because his solitary confinement cell is a “large private room with a shower, a…
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Rep. Louie Gohmert Defends Rep. Jim Jordan Against Claims That He Knew of OSU Wrestler’s Sexual Abuse by Saying They ‘Were Adults’
The sexual-assault apologists just keep on coming out of the GOP woodwork. On Monday, Rep. Louie Gohmert defended his Republican brethren Jim Jordan of Ohio against allegations that he knew about reported abuse during his time as a wrestling coach at Ohio State University and did nothing to stop it. “Unlike the Olympians who were…
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Judge Rules Against Trump Administration, Rejects Long-Term Detention of Migrant Families
A U.S. federal judge on Monday blocked the Trump administration’s efforts to detain migrant children and their families seeking asylum in the U.S. for indefinite periods of time. As the New York Times reports, Judge Dolly M. Gee of the Federal District Court in Los Angeles delivered the ruling, which shot down every argument offered…
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Did Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy Negotiate His Replacement With Trump Before Retiring?
I love me some conspiracy theories. In fact, I am convinced that Tupac Shakur is currently living as a goat farmer in Cuba. Don’t @ me. So, I will say that this one unnamed news source has a bit of a conspiracy-esque tinge to it, but let’s just go with it for a second. On…
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If You Wanted to Know How Trump Would Treat America, Just Look at How He Treated His Chauffeur for Over 25 Years
For 25 years, Noel Cintron had one of the worst jobs in America. For 25 years, Cintron drove a large orange tub of sherbet extract around New York City. For 25 years, he had to listen to sherbet excrement’s bloated tales of wild extravagance and the deafening sounds of sherbet devouring KFC. Cintron was Donald…
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Virginia Lawmaker Says He Can’t Be Racist Because His Son Is Named After a Black Man
This is a twisted and somewhat confusing tale of peak caucasity, white nationalism in American government and an epic claim of “not all white people” based on the name of one white man’s son. Pay close attention. U.S. Rep. Scott Taylor is a Republican congressman from Virginia who is up for reelection in November. At…
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Ivanka Trump’s Clothing Line Avoids China Trade Tariffs
Donald Trump is full of shit. He has been his whole career. Whether it’s been lying about his wealth or the one time he acted like his own publicist to sell stories of excessive galavanting with buxom blondes, Trump has made a lifetime out of being full of it. But, arguably his best caca-esque move…