Politics
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Could Trump’s Endgame Be a Plea Deal and a Resignation? Rudy Giuliani Reportedly Thinks So
“President” Adderall has gone completely off the rails and is standing strong in his conviction not to budge on the government shutdown unless Congress gives him his way. It has been 19 days since he started his standoff over the $5.7 billion he is demanding to build his mythical wall across the U.S./Mexico border, and…
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Trump Just Threw a Temper Tantrum and Walked Out of a Meeting Over a Wall That Only Racists Want
President Don Snow, the watcher of the wall who is valiantly protecting America from the White Brown Walkers, showed today that his negotiating tactics amounted to a huffy child folding his arms and storming out of the room after learning that he’s not getting a Nintendo Switch until he gets his grades up. On Wednesday…
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Why Does Donald Trump Keep Sniffling? An Investigation
In the aftermath of Tuesday’s presidential address showcasing a litany of lies, hazy facts, accusations and demonizing, perhaps the biggest question raised by Donald Trump’s public plea to build the Great Wall of MAGA is: What the hell is wrong with Donald Trump’s nose? The president’s nasal drip stole the show as the star of…
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Kamala Harris Doesn’t Yet Announce Presidential Run With New Book (but Hints as Subtly as a Semi-Truck)
Expect news about a Kamala Harris presidential run to drop any day now. On Tuesday, the Democratic senator released her memoir, The Truths We Hold, though telling her life story really isn’t the point of this book, as several reviewers have noted. What Harris carefully lays out in the book is the case to voters—those…
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The 'Stable Genius' Just Rage-Tweeted a Misspelled Threat to Cut Funds for Fighting 'Forrest Fires'
On Wednesday, a little after 10 a.m. on the East Coast, which means that the president has already walked the halls of the White House wearing only an adult diaper and a robe made the innards of orphaned baby seals clubbed to death with oak legs from authentic Victorian-era dining tables. He’s already drank a…
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R. Kelly Is the Black Donald Trump and His Supporters Are Deplorables, Too
I cover politics and sports for The Root. R. Kelly and the accusations that have followed him like the stench from an R&B PigPen aren’t my lane. I was perfectly fine vomiting all over my television screen like the rest of us after watching Surviving R. Kelly, the six-part docu-series, and seeing just how far…
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Oval Office Confessions: Trump Goes Live on National Television to Talk About His Dumb Wall
Previously on White House Apprentice, we found out that the magical wall of doom your “president” won’t stop talking about was never really supposed to be a thing in the first place. It was revealed that the “wall” was actually a mnemonic meant to help the then-candidate remember to talk about being tough on immigration…
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10 Things They Won't Tell You About the Border Wall
They say: “People will hold on to a beautiful lie before they accept the ugly truth.” The mythical “they,” in this case, is my grandmother. She may have heard it from someone else. If you sourced the quote on Twitter, it was probably the wisest, most quoted figures of all time: Will Smith or Maya…
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Samuel L. Jackson, Patron Saint of ‘MFers,’ Endorses Rashida Tlaib’s Expert Usage on Trump
Before we dig into this story, I would first like to apologize to my dad, who once kindly suggested that I maybe, just maybe, give some thought to cussing less in my posts. Dad, my condolences, but this will not be one of those posts. Michigan Representative Rashida Tlaib told a crowd of supporters at…