Politics
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Donald Trump on the State of the Union: Mother May I? Nancy Pelosi: Yes, You May
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi continues to son the shit out of your little “president.” In her latest gathering of the sniffer-in-chief, Pelosi finally gave Donald Trump permission to give the State of the Union address he has been so desperate to deliver. In a letter made public via Twitter by her deputy chief of staff,…
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‘I’m Told This Is Where Bill and Monica…’: Trump is Giving White House Tours Because He Doesn’t Have Anything Else to Do
Continuing his role as a world-class embarrassment, Donald Trump reportedly asks his White House guests if they want to see where former White House intern Monica Lewinsky and former president Bill Clinton carried on their illicit activities. The Washington Post obtained an early copy of Team of Vipers, a new book by former White House…
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Definitive Proof That Trump Is Losing His Base: Now He’s Beefing With Fox News
First, the Fat Boys break up, then the Fugees and now it looks like the love affair between Donald Trump and Fox News might be coming to an unceremonious end. The president of people who like foam designs on the top of their overpriced coffee did the unthinkable Sunday when he dragged a pair of…
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Prior to His Inauguration, Trump and His Merry Band of Soon-To-Be Convicted Felons Had Over 100 Contacts With Russians
According to a New York Times report that we can all collectively pretend to be shocked and appalled by, President Obstinately Orange and Obtuse just might have a thing for Russia. And by a thing, I mean that during his 2016 presidential campaign and transition, at least 17 of his campaign officials and advisers had contacts—over…
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Trump Bends the Knee to Pelosi, Temporarily Ends Shutdown He Created
The president of people who support the Covington Catholic crew proved that his dealmaking abilities were limited to threats and intimidation and has effectively bent the knee to Nancy Pelosi and agreed to temporarily reopen the government for three weeks as Congress continues to negotiate border security funding. During a speech from the White House…
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Roger Stone Is a Stunt Queen Who Is Loving the Attention From His Arrest
Longtime GOP operative and wearer of custom-made Steve Harvey suits, Roger Stone was arrested early Friday morning. He was charged in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation with one count of obstruction, five counts of making false statements, and one count of witness tampering. Stone posted $250,000 bail and walked out of jail like he…
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Roger Stone Has Nixon's Face Tattooed on His Back and Other Things That Might Help Him in Prison
Roger Stone, the informal adviser to President Donald Trump, was arrested Friday morning in his Florida home and charged in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation with one count of obstruction, five counts of making false statements, and one count of witness tampering. From Vanity Fair: Stone’s alleged crimes stem from his contacts with WikiLeaks,…
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Trump Now Wants to Put His Wall on a Layaway Plan
President Trump is becoming desperate, so desperate that he’s now willing to put funding for his border wall on a pay-as-you-go plan. On Thursday, lawmakers shot down two dueling proposals to reopen the government. A Republican-backed proposal sought to have the full $5.7 billion for the wall and a Democrat-sponsored proposal sought to reopen the…
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Rest in Peace to the Dueling Senate Bills to Reopen the Government, Both of Which Died Quick Deaths
The Senate shot down a GOP- and White House-backed bill that would have given President Trump money for his dumb-ass wall that no one wants and also funded the government. Basically Republicans couldn’t get enough Democrats to back the bill that would have funded the full $5.7 billion needed to run a medieval wall along…
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I Don't Know How We're Going to Make It Through This Campaign Season Y'all
I’m typically a pretty optimistic person. For instance, I believe the children are our future. I believe in miracles. I even believe in magic. Despite my penchant for seeing a glass half-full, I’m not sure we gon’ make it through this campaign season y’all. When Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said “I may not get…