Politics
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Trump Told Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders to Stop Holding Briefings Because the Press Pushes Back on Her Lies
If you’ve been wondering why it’s been a while since Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka “Suckabee” aka “The Devil’s Mouthpiece,” hasn’t held a press briefing in a while, well it’s because President Trump doesn’t like the way that she’s treated. You read that right. How she is treated. To be fair, she’s treated like a press…
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Justin Fairfax, The King of Confederate Shade, Shuts Down 100-Year Tribute to American Traitors
Most politicians don’t really understand power. Oh, they may talk about power, they may use power, they may even think they are powerful. But from the local county auditor to even the president of the United States, the meaning of true power eludes them. Justin Fairfax, Lt. Governor of the blue state of Virginia, is…
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Supreme Court Allows Trump's Transgender Military Ban to Go Into Effect
On Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to enforce President Trump’s policy on barring certain transgender people from joining or staying in the military as justices put lower court rulings, which blocked the plan, on hold. Thanks to the conservative-leaning majority (looking at you, Brett “I like beer. I still like beer” Kavanuagh) what started…
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Rudy Giuliani: Where Am I and Why Am I in This Hand Basket?
President Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, continues to do the work of the people by seriously mangling just about everything he touches. At this point, Giuliani is going to beat special counsel Robert Mueller to the punch and announce on primetime television that the president colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 presidential election. I…
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Four Volunteers Convicted for Leaving Food and Water Near Border as Four More Await Trial
Four of the nine volunteers working with the aid group No More Deaths are set to stand trial over exhibiting common decency to migrants near the U.S.-Mexico border. After four workers were convicted of misdemeanor charges for leaving food and water for migrants crossing in 2017, four more are set to stand trial over similar…
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She's Running! Kamala Harris Announces Run for the Presidency on Good Morning America
Sitting calmly on the set of ABC’s Good Morning America with Robin Roberts and George Stephanopoulos, Senator Kamala Harris announced she is running for the Democratic nomination for president of the United States this Monday. There was an audible cheer from someone behind the cameras the moment Harris said the words which caused the entire…
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For the 2nd Year in a Row, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax Wants No Parts of Tribute to Confederate Superhero Robert E. Lee
For the second year in a row, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax left the dais in silent protest while Virginia state senators honored Confederate superhero Gen. Robert E. Lee. What makes Lee a superhero? He ardently “defended a system of human bondage in which more than three million souls were denied the most basic liberties”. He…
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Trump Unveils His Genius Plan to Offer DACA & TPS Protections in Exchange for His Non-Sensical Border Wall
As children, we learned the art of negotiation early in life. “You want me to quit crying? Change this diaper, fix me a bottle, and help me get these burps out, nigga.” Or: “I won’t tell Daddy about that white man I saw crawling out the window if you buy me a Sega Genesis.” But…
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Nancy Pelosi's Trip Cancelled After Leak Exposes Exact Travel Schedule Causing Security Risks
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s was all set to make a trip to Afghanistan until President Petty decided to out her travel plans and, in turn, forced her to shut the trip down because he went public making Pelosi’s trip too dangerous. On Thursday—surely a retaliation effort for Pelosi suggesting that President Richard Pettibone should memorize…
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I Don’t Care What Y’all Say, If Buzzfeed Brings Down President Trump, I’m Inviting Them To The Cookout [Updated]
If BuzzFeed’s report that the president told his former lawyer and fixer to lie to Congress about the Moscow Tower turns out to be true and brings down the president, this will be the biggest moment in American history. Therefore, I’m formally requesting that we take a vote to extend one conditional cookout invitation to…