Politics
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Trump’s Defense Lawyers Pick Up Where They Left Off, and By ‘Pick Up’ I Mean They Just Continue Lying
On Monday, President Trump’s loose group of arthritic knees and questionable morals banded together to expand on their brief opening statements from Saturday to make their case as to why the president of the United States isn’t the real Joanne the Scammer. A live look at President Trump promising that his team isn’t going to…
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Ex-National Security Adviser John Bolton Can’t Testify, But He Sure Knows How to Promote a Book
President Donald Trump began his Monday the way he always does: He ate the remains of a baby goat that was leftover from the weekend, slogged around the White House looking for his pig’s blood and cilantro smoothie and then locked himself in his private bathroom where he rage tweeted about ex-national security adviser John…
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34 U.S. Troops Were Diagnosed With Brain Injuries From the Iranian Missile Attacks. Trump Initially Said They Only Had ‘Headaches’
Either Trump doesn’t trust his own Pentagon or his years of service in the military have reduced brain injuries to mere headaches, but either way, President Bone Spurs is so out of touch with his own departments that just days after he walked out and told everyone that U.S. soldiers only suffered “headaches” after an…
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Sanders Is a Sore Winner, Buttigieg Fans Say He’s a Beginner and Biden’s Lead Is Getting Slimmer: 2020 Presidential Black Power Rankings, Week 26
Green Book wasn’t just the story of a white savior who centered himself in the story of a queer black genius in the 1960s. It also happened to be a real guide as to where it was safe for black folks to eat, sleep and socialize—kind of like a Black Yelp. Why does that matter?…
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Impeachment Trial, Day 3: How Do You Get Liars to Care About the Truth?
So I know you didn’t watch Day 3 of the Trump Impeachment trial so allow me to recap all the bits you missed. Democrats continued to make their case, which was totally riveting btw, and then Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) pulled a sword and began hacking away at the podium. Notorious R.E.P. Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.)…
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Was Bernie Buggin’? Sanders Reportedly Compared White Vermont Marble Workers to Black Slaves
The longer I look at Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), the more he goes from being the radical old white guy with the alternative ideas to the white guy who’s way too comfortable around black people. You know, the white guy who was in the all-black church choir, the one who went against the grain in…
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Day 2: Impeachment Boogaloo
Have you ever been to a rave? I have and it’s exactly what you’d expect: loud music, lots of footwork, glow sticks and drugs. But what’s most impressive about a rave is how long they are and how sweaty everyone gets because the whole room gets hot because of all the non-stop dancing. The second…
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What Geraldo Rivera Left in Al Capone’s Vault
In April of 1986, Geraldo Rivera hosted a two-hour live exclusive called, sadly, The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vaults, which was hyped up as an unveiling of whatever secrets the former mob boss left behind. Some 30 million people tuned in to watch what everyone believed was going to be a bounty of riches. After…
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We Watched Day 1 of the Impeachment Trial Because We Knew You Didn’t Want To
The first day of the impeachment trial was longer than the church service when you didn’t have breakfast. The first day of the impeachment trial was longer than the line at the DMV. The first day of the impeachment trial was so long (13 hours!) that we are sure you stopped watching, so we watched…