Politics
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Joe Biden: Trump Is a Racist. Also Joe Biden: Desegregation Will Have My Kids Growing Up in a 'Racial Jungle'
I’m not being flippant or facetious or any other f-word when I say that I really want former Vice President Joe Biden to shut the fuck up. If I say, “God is good—all the time!” I don’t want to hear Joe Biden say a fucking word. If I say “the roof…the roof..the roof is on…
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‘Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV’: Trump Is the Latest Member of Idiot-Mensa
It’s starting to look like the cognitive test that Trump claims he aced is the only test he’s ever done well on because he won’t stop talking about it. This test literally has questions like, “Do you see an elephant? Can you point to the elephant?” and Trump is out here acting like he’s the…
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Rep. Matt Gaetz Had a TV Studio Installed in His Father’s Home With Taxpayer Money and Other Possible Violations
When Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz isn’t playing catch with his fully grown adopted, but not really adopted man-child Nestor, he’s apparently violating House ethics rules, allegedly. Gaetz, a grown man who longs to be Trump’s son, “improperly sent tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars to a limited liability company linked to a speech-writing consultant who…
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Republican Congressman Refuses to Apologize for Calling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Out of Her Name
Pardon me if you’ve heard this before, but we have this thing in our society—the word escapes me at the moment—where men feel inclined to express themselves in ways toward women that they never would with another man. My memory is shit, so I wish I could remember what it’s called, but I’m sure Talib…
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Today in White People 'Trying It': Sen. Tom Cotton Compares Black Lives Matter Protesters to Confederate Traitors
One day, during a meeting on journalistic legal policies, a very sincere attorney suggested that, instead of calling someone “a racist,” it was better to refer to the person’s actions as racist. Even though I still adhere to that policy, it made no sense to me. If I am allowed to refer to a person…
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Andrew Gillum Is Back
In March, back when the coronavirus pandemic was still a figment of our imagination, former Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum was involved in an alleged crystal meth-related incident at a Miami Beach hotel. The details weren’t pretty and the rumors circulating around social media were even more gruesome. But instead of cowering in the shadows,…
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Missouri Governor: Kids Have to Go Back to School and They Will Get COVID-19, But They’ll 'Get Over It'
If Donald Trump and a pair of discarded seersucker shorts had a baby boy and that little bastion of racism, idiocy and yacht wear grew up to run for office, he would be Missouri Gov. Mike Parson. During a radio interview Friday, the Republican noted that children have to go back to school. I think…
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Maxine Waters Is a Goddamn Superhero: Watch the California Representative Intervene During Police Stop
Democratic California Rep. Maxine Waters is 81 years old. I’m not trying to put auntie on blast, I’m just pointing out that 81 years of fighting for civil rights hasn’t stopped this queen from taking on the President of the United States and even stopping to make sure a police officer wasn’t violating one of…
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Trump Clowned for Bragging About Cognitive Test and More From That Bizarre Fox News Interview
When Trump took office, he made it clear that he was a Fox News man. Since Melania was often spending evenings with her boyfriend, the president, before retiring to his sleeping coffin, would dress in barely-there clothing and watch the news station in the presidential bedroom. The cable news channel had been easy on the…