How gangster is Angela Rye? Angela Rye is gangster like Tupac coming out of court wearing a hockey jersey spitting at reporters. Angela Rye is gangster like Harriet Tubman’s pistol. Angela Rye is gangster like the side eye I imagine Rosa Parks gave that white man who told her to move to the back of the bus. Angela Rye is so gangster, I am sitting here debating with myself whether or not I should spell it “gangsta.”
As part of her ongoing “Watch Your Mouth” tour, during which she puts noted white people like Tomi Lahren and Joe Walsh in their respective places, on Tuesday night, Rye apparently triggered conservatives across the country when she refused to refer to y’all’s Putin-fellating chief executive as her president.
At the end of a CNN New Day segment about the Trump campaign producing its own Russian version of House Party 8, Rye stared at former Georgia Republican Rep. Jack Kingston like he came to the cookout wearing blackface. As he explained how Donald Trump wouldn’t be stupid enough to collude in a room with five other people, Rye belly-laughed at Kingston’s defense of the Three Stooges-like collusion incident.
And then Rye did the inconceivable—she responded by calling the president the “y-word”:
But Jack, he went into a press conference during the summer asking Russia to find the other 30,000 emails. There are a lot of things that your president has done that defy logic. Let’s at least acknowledge that.
If this had been a movie, there would have been a freeze-frame, the sound of a record scratching and a smooth voice-over announcing: “Can you hear that? That was the moment the Caucasian levees burst, causing the Great White Tears Flood of 2017.”
But this wasn’t a movie. Instead, every conservative outlet in the country led with headlines like these:
As people of no color clutched their pearls, screamed, “I do declare,” and fainted from early-onset cases of the vapors, everyone else thought, “Wait ... what? Weren’t you guys the ones who started the whole ‘not my president’ thing?”
We know from the revisionist history that conservatives have applied to everything—from sweeping the legacy of Jim Crow under the rug to transforming the Civil War into a brief little conflict about states’ rights and agrarian economy—that white America sometimes falls victim to a peculiar strand of undiagnosed amnesia, so allow me to refresh their memories:
Remember when y’all declared that Barack Obama was not only “not your president,” but he wasn’t even your countryman? Remember when your caution-sign-colored commander in chief demanded his birth certificate? How about the time CBS News published an op-ed by Paul Thompson explaining why Obama was not his president? Slipped your mind? Don’t you recall when the Grim Reaper masquerading as Clint Eastwood said the same thing? Remember when RedState ran a piece saying the following?
But he certainly isn’t my President, nor the President of a United States of America. Obama is President of these various constituent groups:
- Deadbeats of all ethnicities
- Wealthy people who bribed Obama for personal financial gain
- Whites suffering from white liberal guilt over the racism promoted by Democrats
- Media people
- Slutty women (ie., Sandra Fluke)
And how dare anyone at Fox News even say anything about this? Don’t they archive the videos over there? Just in case they don’t, allow me to refresh their memories with the clip below:
I don’t need to defend what Rye said. She’s better at it than I am. But the entire conservative blogosphere, whose members are butt-hurt because she distanced herself from a pussy-grabbing, enemy-colluding, xenophobic half-wit with the haircut of a frazzled parrot and the IQ of a feral labradoodle, should remember what they said and wrote before they criticize Rye. Now they have the caucasity to throw the same words they said as some evidence that she is unpatriotic?
At least she said it to Jack Kingston’s face, and not from within the safe cocoon of the likes of a conservative echo chamber.
Now, that’s gangsta.
Watch Angela Rye on CNN’s New Day below: