On Being A Grown-Ass Man…With A Pair Of Jordans

(Damon's latest at EBONY tells the story of how he recently bought a pair of $200 basketball sneakers he'll never, ever, ever actually play basketball in) Suggested Reading Suge Knight Claims Tupac’s Mother Made This Shocking Move in His Final Moments Spoilers: Black TikTok Has Theories on Whether Taraji’s Daughter in ‘Straw’ The Unbelievable Reasons…

(Damon's latest at EBONY tells the story of how he recently bought a pair of $200 basketball sneakers he'll never, ever, ever actually play basketball in)

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Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?
Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

Iโ€™m not who youโ€™d call a sneakerhead. I like shoes as just much as the next bougie Black man, but Iโ€™ve never been the type โ€” at least not as an adult โ€” to scour Eastbay and the mall for shoes and shoe release dates. And Iโ€™m definitely not the guy who, whenever a new pair of Jordans are released, stands in line for hours like Iโ€™m waiting for bread and soap in communist Russia. But, several months ago, I saw a pair of Black retro 3s on someoneโ€™s feet. Along with acknowledging how cool they looked, I had a flashback to the late 80s, when a pre-teen me actually had those sneakers.

So, for the next few weeks, whenever I happened to be near a mall, Iโ€™d saunter into a Champs or Finish Line or Sneaker Villa, asking if they carried them. None did, and each of the dudes working in each of those stores looked at me like โ€œDude. When Retro 3s are released, they sell out the first day. Sometimes the first hour. What made your dumb ass think youโ€™d be able to just walk up in here and cop a pair? Shouldnโ€™t your old ass be at Jos. A Bank's or something?โ€

Undeterred, I googled them to see how much they were going for on eBay. I mean, yeah. Theyโ€™re expensive shoes. But itโ€™s not like I was choosing between getting these and paying my rent. I could handle it. Iโ€™m a grown-ass man, remember?

And then I saw some of the pricesโ€ฆ

$300. $325. $450. $475. $500.

โ€ฆand I was all the way good on that.

Unless Michael Jordan was going to personally fly โ€” not in a plane, but with actual human wings โ€” to my house every morning and personally place the shoes on my feet, aint no way I was paying four hundred dollars for a pair of sneakers. So I forgot about them. But, apparently I talked about them enough in that three week window of Jordan infatuation that my then-fiancee picked up on it.

***Read the rest at EBONY***

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