Noooooooooooooooooooo!!! I can’t deal with this life! The one shining star in President Donald Trump’s abysmal and hopelessly clueless Cabinet was White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer.
Now the New York Times reports that Spicy Facts offered the Trump administration his resignation after strongly objecting to the news that Trump had hired a New York financier and good friend of Fox News host Sean Hannity, Anthony Scaramucci.
I know that I should be gloating right now, since I predicted the downfall of Spicy Facts, but I saw what everyone else saw: Sarah “Suckabee” Huckabee Sanders had taken over the majority of the daily press briefings as Spicy moved to a behind-the-scenes role filling in as the White House communications director.
His days were numbered—but that doesn’t mean I still can’t be sad.
To only listen to Spicy Facts’ sound bites was to miss the beauty and true essence of one of the brightest stars in this administration. Spicy was the physical embodiment of how ridiculous this administration had become. From his first day on the job, he lied about the crowd numbers at the president’s inauguration, and I knew then that he was going to be special.
Did I know that he would grow to become this lovable figure of mistruths and mania? Of course I did. Because here is a grown man who once hid in the bushes to hide from the press and was so befuddled that he once wore mismatched shoes, and he’s an adult!
I’ve unabashedly been a champion of Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer since day one, and now on day—well, who knows what day it is in the crazy-ass administration—he’s gone.
This is a sad day for the presidency and, more important, America. We can’t have anything nice, America! Nothing!
The accepted resignation of Spicy proves that Trump hates us all.
Read more at the New York Times.