No Sex In The Conference Room

Forgive me for my naïveté and current work-from-home position, but I had no idea loads of people [really] had sex on the job. I thought that was a figment of a television writer’s imagination.

But, after stumbling along a piece published on Business Insider, I see that indeed many of you were partaking in office nookie. Not to knock anyone’s extracurricular activity of choice, but STDs and splinters, much?


In all seriousness, the piece featured many anecdotal tales of employees having sex at their place of employment – including law offices and financial firms.

In one example, an associate at a prestigious law firm touched on a pair of attorneys discovered having relations in a conference room. As it turned out the conference room was visible from the elevators, and the couple was caught on the elevator cameras.


Aren’t they smart.

However, these sort of stories are becoming increasingly infrequent.

As one HR person at a Wall Street firm revealed to writer John Carney, “People just aren't having sex in the office any more. It's like the crash dampened their hormones."

The HR refuted claims that it’s more so an issue of lack of libido than newfound caution, but I can’t help but think in a time where businesses are slashing positions left and right workers are putting their sex drives in check for fear of being dismissed.

And upon reflection, I realize there’s been a change in attitude for many of my 9-5 worker bee friends.


I no longer get as many “What are you doing?” messages on gchat and AIM. Not as many [annoying] forward chain letters no doubt intended sent by those trying to pass the work day.

I’ve even heard those who are admitted bad employees say, “I’m going to have to stop playing around. I can’t afford to lose this job.”


So sure, the economy has probably caused less sexual eruptions between cubicle buddies, but is it safe to say more people simply want to behave to avoid the axe?

I’d love to hear from you.

Leave your comments below and email your own recession tale to me at


Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him on Twitter.

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