Photo: Matt Winkelmeyer (Getty Images)

After upsetting a bunch of white nationalists snowflakes who only own Nike Monarchs or Marshalls clearance-rack joints, Nike announced that the face of the Black Lives Movement in sports, the first kneeler for black rights, the undisputed heavyweight champion of trying to stop the overpolicing of black and brown communities, Colin Kaepernick, was going to become the face for the the 30th anniversary of Nike’s “Just Do It” campaign.

But now, ESPN notes that Nike is set to debut a new commercial featuring Kapernick’s voiceover during this week’s Thursday Night Football game, which is the official beginning of the 2018 NFL season.

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At this point, I want Nike to be my girlfriend. I want to sit in the park with Nike and drink a milkshake out of two straws. I want to do that paddle-boat thing that I see couples do that looks fun at first until you’re really far out and realize that you have to paddle back in until you get a cramp in your calf when you almost reach the shore. I want to make it official with Nike.

The commercial, showing athletes of all ages, nationalities, genders and races doing impossible feats, was leaked on Sports Illustrated (see below). Colin Kaepernick’s voice is commanding those watching to dream bigger than themselves.

“If people say your dreams are crazy ... If they laugh at what they think you can do... Good. Stay that way,” Kaepernick says over images of a skateboarder failing to land a difficult trick. “Because what non-believers fail to understand is that calling a dream crazy is not an insult ... It’s a compliment.”

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Here’s the full transcript from the video. Feel free to get portions of it tattooed.

If people say your dreams are crazy...If they laugh at what they think you can do...good....stay that way.

Because what non-believers fail to understand is that calling a dream crazy is not an insult

It’s a compliment.

Don’t try to be the fastest runner in your school or the fastest runner in the world. Be the fastest ever.

Don’t picture yourself wearing OBJ’s jersey. Picture OBJ wearing yours.

Don’t settle for homecoming queen or linebacker. Do both.

Lose 120 pounds and become an Ironman...after beating a brain tumor.

Don’t believe you have to be like anybody...to be somebody.

If you’re born a refugee. Don’t let it stop you from playing soccer...for the national team...at age 16.

Don’t become the best basketball player on the planet. Be bigger than basketball.

Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.

When they talk about the greatest team in the history of the sport, make sure it’s your team.

If you have only one hand, don’t just watch football...play it at the highest level.

And if you’re a girl from Compton, don’t just become a tennis player. Become the greatest athlete ever. Yeah, that’s more like it.

So don’t ask if your dreams are crazy. Ask if you’re crazy enough.

Nike, if you’re reading this:

Hey, big head...

WYD?